Things You'll Need:
- Confidence
- Courage
- The desire to live the life you deserve
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Step 1
Listen To Your Body. Before you're ready to be honest with yourself, your body will start speaking to you. You'll start to feel the stress well up - it may be stomach pain or a tight throat, or maybe a headache or trouble sleeping. Your body will not let you deny that you are unhappy.
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Step 2
Review Your Relationship. How long have you been with him? What has he contributed mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially to the relationship during that time? Have you been a happier, healthier person since you've been with him or do you feel like an unstable stress case? Do you feel like you've lost parts of yourself that you like and have new traits that you don't like?
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Step 3
Red Flag Alerts. Have you gotten into debt since you've been with him? Is he secretive with money? Does he spend money he doesn't have? Is he able to hold down a job? Does he get angry if you try to talk about finances? Is he ambitious and motivated or would he rather spend the day playing video games and air guitar? Do his parents still support him and he's over 21 years old?
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Step 4
More Red Flag Alerts. Does he have pride in supporting his family or does he blame you for his own insecurities? Does he make you feel special or like a burden? Does he share romantic, thoughtful gestures or do you feel taken for granted? Does he constantly tell you that he can't afford the things you want (house, kids, etc)? Do you feel you have different life goals and priorities?
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Step 5
Express Yourself. Write a letter to him, telling him how his actions have made you feel over the years (providing you gave him years of your life, if you haven't, run now!). You don't have to send this exact letter, it's an exercise for you to feel safe and free to express your pain and get it out, and you will feel more composed when you do give him the reasons you're leaving.
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Step 6
Ask for Help. Turn to friends, family or healers/therapists for support helping you garner up the courage to leave. Acknowledge it's a process - you'll feel denial, grief, anger, resentment - that's all normal. The most important thing is to find healthy ways to detox these emotions so they don't dwell in you. Ask Archangel Michael and your guardian angels to surround you with white light and cut all cords to this person.
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Step 7
Create a Plan. Focus on YOU. Direct all of your attention to your future, your work, your friends, your life. Fill up your schedule with working towards goals, fun time and self-care routines. Continue to allow yourself to heal from the relationship and move forward in a healthy, empowering way.
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Step 8
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem. Focus on everything that's great about your life and write a list of things you like about yourself. Recognize all the reasons you're just so darn lovable and feel your heart open and glow for the man who is truly worthy of all you are and have to give. Write down all the qualities that you've learned are important for you in your future man, and everything you have to offer. Then let the universe play matchmaker and send you the love you're now ready for and will certainly appreciate!
Comments
williamfjordan said
on 10/29/2009 does this work for deadbeat women?
godfather25 said
on 8/17/2009 LOL, great article.
lezsays said
on 8/2/2009 This is great!! 5**
ladyselene said
on 7/19/2009 Excellent article, honest and helpful. *****