How to Babyproof Your Marriage

When you're getting ready for a new baby, so much emphasis is placed on preparing your physical surroundings--but there are other areas of your life that also need to be put in order. Bringing children into a marriage alters the relationship dynamic and can cause undue stress for couples who are unprepared. Babyproofing your marriage can help make the transition into your new parenting roles much easier. It can also help you avoid the relationship pitfalls that can arise from clinging to unrealistic expectations.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Plan for your new addition, but remain flexible and realize that you can and probably will have to make changes. Discussing important issues such as the baby-care schedule and the division of responsibilities can help you stay organized, and give you time to iron out differences and make necessary compromises. Remain realistic in your planning, and understand that life after baby won't be a fairytale.

2. Listen to new parents' horror stories, but don't cling to every word. The stories of those new parents who are operating in zombie-like trances may contain some truth, but they'll cause undue stress if you let them frighten you too much. Talk with a variety of parents to help you separate the facts from the fictionalized accounts. Read parenting books and visit online parenting forums to help you maintain a healthy attitude about your post-baby life.

3. Develop a strong support system. Although the new baby will be your primary responsibility, it's unnecessary to face the challenges of parenthood alone. Don't cut yourself off from friends and family; that can leave you feeling isolated and run down. Make friends with couples who have children and will understand your parenting responsibilities. Consider interviewing potential babysitters early so you'll be ready as soon as you need a break.

4. Commit to spending "alone" time together. While spending time with your little angel is important, don't forget that nurturing your relationship is still essential. Set aside time at least once a week to make a meaningful connection with your spouse. Make the most of your quality time by banning talk of topics such as work and the baby. Planning extended vacations without the baby can also keep your marriage vibrant.

5. Find laughter during stressful situations. While seemingly endless diaper and clothing changes can be frustrating, these situations don't have to spoil your day (or night). Keep your sense of humor intact, and avoid petty arguments. This can help you stay focused on completing your parenting duties more efficiently, instead of wasting time on resentment. Create inside jokes to help the two of you stay united against marital boredom and stress.

Tips & Warnings

• Lending a helping hand to a tired spouse can boost morale and alleviate those exhaustion-fueled accusations about who's doing more (or less).
• Your relationship will never be the same as it was before you had children--and that's okay. Embrace it. This is a new chapter.

References

• She Knows: Can you 'babyproof' your marriage?
• CBS News: 10 Rules For Babyproofing Your Marriage
• Disney Family Parenting: How to 'Babyproof' Your Relationship

Resources

• Parenting Forums for advice