How to Understand Aggressive Behavior

Comparing aggression, assertiveness

Aggressive behavior can erupt easily for some people, it seems as if it is roiling just beneath the surface of their life. Living around a person who frequently displays aggressive behavior can be challenging and difficult. While there are moments when aggression is welcomed, those moments are diminishing in modern society along with the need to posture and intimidate. Learning how to understand aggressive behavior can present its own challenges but it is well worth the effort.

Things You'll Need

• Five mentors
• Visit a domestic violence shelter
• Visit a jail
• Visit a funeral home
• Visit a zoo
• Pen and paper
• Dictionary

Instructions

Understanding Aggression

1. Write a paragraph about the difference between aggressive and assertive behavior. Check your answer against the definitions in a dictionary. The differences between the answers you wrote and the dictionary represent what's missing in your understanding of what aggression is.

2. Ask five people you trust and admire if they will assist in mentoring you in a deeper understanding of what aggression is. These should be adults whose behavior reflects an understanding of aggression, who each handle confrontation by aggression in different, yet successful ways, that don't include being aggressive as a response. Good mentors might include a coach, a teacher, a lawyer, a martial arts sports expert, a religious person, a counselor or others.

3. Request that each mentor accompany you on a visit to a domestic violence shelter, a jail and a funeral home. Separate these visits across several weeks and plan to gather afterward in a casual private spot to discuss the experience of the visit and what was expressed. Bring your notebook and take notes for later questions.

4. Describe aggressive behavior you have experienced or exhibited and ask each mentor to offer their opinion about the nature of the aggression being discussed. Most aggression emerges from confrontation or a fear of some type of loss. Discuss alternatives to the choices that generate the aggressive behavior and how to manage aggression displayed toward you successfully.

5. Role play with your mentors, with one person being a bully and one person being a victim. By exchanging roles the relationship between the roles can be considered. Discuss how to think about aggression in new ways to improve your understanding of it. Discussion about a subject with a diverse group of people will provide the best insight into understanding the subject. By asking questions and exploring issues the subject can be viewed in many different ways.

6. Visit a zoo with some or all of your mentors and sit in front of the primates exhibit and watch the behaviors of other primates. Discuss with your mentors what you see and with any zoo staff that may be in the area. Note when aggression is being displayed and think about how the display is similar to aggression in humans.

7. Write a paragraph about the difference between aggressive and assertive behavior and share your two versions with your mentors. Compare the versions to see how your understanding has developed and deepened.

Tips & Warnings

• Knowing that aggression is primarily based in the fear of losing something goes a long way to starting the process of a fully developed understanding of aggressive behavior. By meeting victims of aggression in real life or meeting people who have behaved aggressively and hurt others, the smaller world of the individual life is expanded to a deeper understanding of how patterns of violence impact the world.

• There is often a lot of resistance to understanding a behavior such as aggression if the person learning the knowledge often displays aggression. By taking the process in steps and by seeking advice from people who are not related to the person seeking the understanding, the opportunity to process and think over time encourages and assists in overcoming resistance.

References

• By Parents -- For Parents
• Teaching Students To Understand... Verbal Aggression