Things You'll Need:
- Courage
- Patience
- A willingness to change
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Step 1
Recognize that shyness is many times a result of an unstable or low self-image, or a small sense of self-worth. Ask yourself what or who has caused you to think lower of yourself than you should think. Every person has intrinsic value, and you are no different. Begin seeing yourself as someone who has value, and someone who is important. It may be helpful to stand in front of the mirror, point at yourself, and say “You are important”. Also repeat to yourself under your breath “I am important. I am valuable. I have a lot to offer.” Other positive affirmations like this can help to build a better self-image into your mentality.
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Step 2
Be patient with yourself and accept your shortcomings and imperfections. Many times shy people are also perfectionists who are excessively hard on themselves. They have such exacting standards for themselves that any time they fall short of those standards (as we all do from time to time), they no longer feel “qualified” to feel good about themselves. This is a harmful trap that is actually counter-productive to you accepting yourself and developing a healthy sense of self-worth. Recognize that all of us make mistakes, none of us are perfect, and we all have things that we are working to improve upon. In short form, give yourself a break!
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Step 3
Excessive self-consciousness is a root of shyness as well. When you are too focused on yourself, it warps your perspective of the world around you and it’s difficult for you to relate to others without the undercurrent of self-consciousness playing in your mind like background music. “How does my hair look? Do I look stupid? I wonder if I’m standing the right way, or holding my arms the right way? Is my voice annoying? etc. etc.” These thoughts are most of the time self-centered, and it’s an unhealthy thing to focus on mentally. Decide to focus on the other person, on what they’re saying, and listen with intention. “Lose yourself”, so to speak, in your focus on others.
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Step 4
Recognize that rejection is a part of life. As much as all of us would love to be accepted by everyone that we encounter, this is just not realistic. Most of the time, people reject others because they feel rejected themselves. The old saying is true: “Hurt people hurt people.”
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Step 5
Learn to laugh at yourself. Many times shyness can come from something as simple as taking yourself too seriously. Remember that all of us are fallible human beings. Making mistakes is a part of life. Once you learn how to laugh at your own mistakes, mishaps, and even shortcomings, it “disarms” those things from having the power to hurt you. Shyness will melt away when people see that you’re comfortable with yourself, imperfections and all.
