How to Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

Relationship problems can be resolved.

Relationships can be tough to maintain because they involve two different people with differing personalities, values and goals. This may create compatibility issues that escalate and leave you barely able to even exist together as a couple. Your problems with a partner do not have to spell doom for the relationship, however. The secret is to start becoming proactive in your relationship instead of being reactive.

Instructions

1. Learn the best way to communicate. What you say and what your partner hears can be two completely different messages. People receive messages as individuals, so misunderstandings can occur when what is received is not what was intended by the person giving the message. Learn how your partner tends to absorb communication from you -- sometimes the solution could be as simple changing the tone of your voice or the timing of the message.

2. Pick your fights. No one is perfect -- your partner will have some traits or habits that will always be irritating to you. Agree to disagree on some things and let others slide. Determine the core issues that cause the relationship problems and decide together how to deal with them. Constant fights over the smallest things are usually just a symptom of bigger, unresolved issues.

3. Reconnect as a couple. Keep a couple's journal where you write positive things about each other that remind you of why you began the relationship. Express feelings to each other that you do not ordinarily voice through your written words. Let the other person know how much he means to you and that you appreciate him. Get creative with the journal by writing poems or love notes or posting favorite snapshots of the other person along with a heartfelt caption. Decide on a time to go through the journals together as a reconnection exercise.

4. Seek counseling or therapy. Getting professional help for problems in a relationship does not signal failure in resolving your issues. Instead, it allows a neutral party to help you work through the disagreements and hurt feelings. Try individual therapy, couples therapy or a combination of both. However, for this to work, both of you must be on board, otherwise the reluctant partner may be emotionally closed to the process and the effort could be in vain.

References

• Pearson Education Inc: Perception in Interpersonal Communication
• Mayo Clinic: Marriage Counseling -- What You Can Expect