How to Start Talking with Your Teen

Communication is a vital component in any relationship. This does include the relationships we have with our children and especially our teens. Teens today, more than ever are in the midst of the crucial stages of emotional development. The following steps will assist in opening the lines of communication with your teen and keeping them talking.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• time
• patience
• understanding

1. Let the teen lead the conversation. When a teen starts talking it is not the time to start a game of twenty questions. Allow the child to ramble about what they choose. The more you listen, it is a guarantee the more they will talk. This is how you will gain insight into their life and trust will be developed.

2. Listen to what is being said. Actually pay attention to the words. This is not the time to multitask. Allow the teen to choose the topics. Keep your contribution to the discussion as minimal as possible. Do feel free to use neutral responses which demonstrate interest but not persuasion. To rectify a lull in the conversation use an open ended question to stimulate further discussion. The purpose here is not to teach the teen what they should or should not do. The purpose is to allow the teen to share their thoughts irregardless of the topic.

3. Give your teen respect by allowing them to vent their emotions. Remember, this is not the time to pass judgement. In allowing your teen to talk about a situation, the odds are they will be able to formulate a solution to just about any situation. It is necessary for you to maintain your own opinions. Think about what you want most when you are venting to your friends. Usually the purpose is not to have the solution giving to you but to have somebody hear your frustration. Having someone to listen truly is a priceless gift. Allow your teen to feel the satisfaction of having a confidante. This is a powerful relationship building tool also.

Tips & Warnings

• Respect your teens friends. This will set groundwork for knowing who and where your teen is when not with you.
• Abstain from using your teen's slang terms unless of course they come naturally from hearing them so often.
• Take advantage of opportunities to talk as they develop. There is no better time than the present.
• Respect your teen in their realm. By this, do not use the cell phone or computer to violate their space. You want your teen to answer your calls or continute to allow you to be their 'friend' on social computer sites. Keep open lines of communication by not harrassing the teen about homework, curfew or what have you through these means.

[urbanchristmas]

on 11/11/2009 Very good advice on talking with your teen! 5*

[hnatalieann]

on 10/19/2009 Great advice, my oldest is turning13 in December!! Will need this advice! 5*'s and recommended!

[hnatalieann]

on 10/19/2009 Great advice, my oldest is turning13 in December!! Will need this advice! 5*'s and recommended!

[JoyNmyHeart]

on 10/8/2009 Excellent advice on talking to your teen. They grow up so quickly these days!

[mvalora]

on 9/22/2009 Good advice!