How to Stop Temper Tantrums with Young Children

Temper tantrums make everyone involved want to pull out their hair and run for the hills. If you scream at the child to stop the tantrum, they will only cry louder and bribing is never good parenting… yet everyone around is probably giving you dirty looks. Sound familiar? Whether you are at home or in public, try this method for stopping temper tantrums. It gives children a release for their frustration and allows for you to take quick control of the situation.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Breathe. Before you do anything, take a deep breath. Children can sense stress and anger. If either are sensed, the temper tantrums will only escalate. Feel free to close your eyes and count to ten (or thirty) before beginning.

2. Get down on the child’s level so as that your eyes are level. This will make you appear less threatening to an already distraught child.

3. Nearly all temper tantrums are caused because children are having a bad day or they are over tired. Acknowledge to the child that you know they are having a bad day and that it is ok to be upset sometimes.
   
   “Jane, I’m sorry you are having a bad day. Sometimes I have bad days, too and that’s ok.”

4. Shake the grouchies out! Young children have trouble comprehending abstract concepts, so help them by finding an action to release the grouchies that are causing the temper tantrums. Young children can shake out their grouchies.
   
   “Jane, sometimes when I’m having a bad day, I go in my room and shake those grouchies right out. I go SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE.”

5. Be prepared for the child to give you a weird look, but the temper tantrums should lessen or stop altogether. Invite the child to join in the shaking.
   
   “Jane, can you help me shake those grouchies out?”

6. Sing an action song to aid in the shaking. For kids familiar with Raffi, change the song “Shake my Sillies Out” to “Shake My Grouchies Out.”

7. Afterward, it may be appropriate to have quiet time. The child will probably feel drained and need a nap or down time.

[explainitplease]

on 8/3/2009 I need to print this, and take it with me to the grocery store every week! Good article, and helpful tips.

[roseanne09]

on 8/2/2009 Excellent steps to stopping temper tantrums with children. 5*

[SeemissesG]

on 7/9/2009 Great article with good advice. Thanks!

[veryirie]

on 7/5/2009 So impressed with these common sense, yet novel approaches. Super advice that every parent or anyone interacting with children should read. Well done!