How to Tell a Guest You Want Money For Your Wedding Present

Weddings are momentous occasions that represent intimidating budgets and planning. For many couples, marriage involves the merging of households, so gifts may not be practical. Traditionally, guests attend the ceremony and the reception, where they can give a congratulatory gift to the couple. Etiquette, however, frowns upon the obvious request (or demand) for gifts, because the bride and groom invite guests for a celebration. For couples planning a wedding, novel approaches may help provide gentle direction to guests who are open to giving money as a gift. In all cases, remember that wedding gifts are optional and that presents are given in the spirit of wishing a couple well.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Family members Wedding registries

Personal Note in Invitations

1. Write a personal note about how a cash gift will help you and your spouse in your new life. For example, write "We are saving for a down payment on our first home and welcome any contributions in lieu of gift-wrapped presents" or "Our travel agent is willing to accept gifts of money towards our honeymoon."

2. Include this personal note in your bridal shower invitations or send a separate personal note at the same time as your wedding invitation.

3. Do not make any further requests and accept presents graciously when provided; family and guests may opt to take the time to select a gift for you rather than simply give you an envelope filled with money.

Family/Bridal Party

4. Tell your family and bridal party what your gift preferences are: Often guests will ask your family for gift suggestions.

5. If you'd prefer not to ask guests directly, ask your family and/or bridal party to send a separate note to family and friends who were invited about your preference: This gives the impression that they have insight about your future plans (such as buying a house or planning your honeymoon).

6. Remember that wedding gifts are optional and that many well-wishers enjoy the process of choosing a present to commemorate the occasion.

Wedding Website

7. Develop a website specifically for your wedding and include this in your announcements.

8. Add a link to your gift registries for guests to access. Include a link to or contact information for your travel agent who will accept contributions towards your honeymoon.

9. Remember that gift registries are tools for guests to facilitate gift selection and that well-wishers may use registries to prepare personalized presents. Accept all gifts received in the spirit of celebration.

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure your travel agent or other service collecting money from guests keeps a detailed record of the transactions, for accountability. Remember to write thank you cards to people who gave you cash as well as those who gave wrapped presents.

References

• San Francisco Examiner: Wedding and Marriage
• Sun Herald: Wedding Registry 101