How to Explain the Birds & the Bees
It can be embarrassing or awkward to talk to children about where babies come from, their changing bodies and the risks of premature and unsafe sex. However, it is crucial that parents create an atmosphere of openness where issues of sexuality are concerned. This article offers tips on how to start and maintain dialogue about "the birds and the bees."
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Things You'll Need
- Time to talk to your child and answer his questions Willingness to overcome embarrassment An awareness of how much information is appropriate for your child's age level
Instructions
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Start early. Children as young as 2 can learn the correct terms for genitals. By 4, a child is ready for basic information about where babies come from. At 6, a basic explanation of intercourse is appropriate.
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Look for opportunities to convey honest information about sex. Read to your child from picture books about families, babies and potty-training. Be alert for questions that may arise.
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By age 6 or 7, it is appropriate to explain intercourse to a child. Say something to the effect of, "men and women's bodies can fit together in a special way that feels good to grown-ups. When a man [or daddy] puts his penis inside a woman [mommy], they can show each other that they love each other. This is also how they make a baby."
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When your children are a little older, they should have honest information about what changes their bodies will experience. You may share concerns you had at a similar age and reassure your child about the natural processes of puberty.
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Continue to provide age-appropriate information, and make sure to emphasize values and feelings connected to sexuality. Make time for occasional private talks regarding sex. Ask your child what he is learning about sex from media and peers, and supplement these ideas with information about your values and concerns.
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By 12, your child should have a solid understanding of reproduction, puberty and the risks of sexuality. Balance frightening messages with more reassuring facts, such as information about how to minimize the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, as well as the basic message that sex can be loving, healthy and pleasurable.
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Tips & Warnings
If you feel uncomfortable talking about sex with your children, admit this up front, but explain that because you care for your child, you want her to have honest information about sex.
Do not provide misinformation or refuse to answer your child's questions; this tactic will produce shame and confusion for children.
