How to End an Extramarital Affair

Extramarital affairs are taboo relationships that can hurt many different parties, including spouses, children, and extended families. According to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, about 50 percent of married women and 60 percent of married men have cheated on their spouses. When you are one half of an extramarital affair, it can be difficult to get out. Some unmarried people find themselves involved in affairs by accident because they fall in love without knowing that the other person is married. A University of Montreal Department of Psychology study stated that some married people cheat because they are rebelling against their intimate marriage relationship. Regardless of the reasoning, breaking the bond of an extramarital affair requires some work and perseverance.

Instructions

1. Admit to yourself that there is a problem with the extramarital affair. As is the case with other bad behaviors that need to be corrected, you have to confess to yourself that the behavior is unacceptable and must stop. Clarify exactly why you believe the behavior is wrong (such as "a family is being affected," "this is against my beliefs," or "I am being used (or using someone else)").

2. Attend counseling to help you get prepared for this big step. Build confidence in yourself through your counseling so that when you do end the affair you will be serious about staying committed to your decision.

3. Anticipate all of the possible reactions from the other person so that you will be prepared with a response in all situations.

4. Meet the person face-to-face in a public place to end the relationship. Explain why you are ending the extramarital affair and ask the person to cease all contact with you. Once you say your peace, do not linger. Repeat your request to end all contact with the person and then leave the meeting as promptly as possible.

5. Take steps to stop the person from reaching you. Call your cell phone company to ask if that person's phone number can be blocked from calling and texting you. Once that is confirmed, delete the other person's phone number or rename it "blocked" and put the ringer for that phone number on "silent." Create a filter to route all emails from that person to your trash folder automatically. Refuse the person entry to your home or office under all circumstances.

Tips & Warnings

• Smiling or laughing when you are breaking up with someone is a sign of weakness and tells the other person that you are unsure. Be very serious when you are speaking to the other person. Think of the people who are being hurt (including yourself) to avoid getting caught up in the moment and falling back into the cycle of the affair. Date other unattached people if you were the single person in the extra-marital affair, even if it is just for fun. Do so at the advisement of your counselor. This will help you get over the other person more quickly.

References

• Statistics on extramarital affairs
• Study on Why Married People Cheat
• More on extramarital affairs

Resources

• Links to help with dealing with extramarital affairs
• The best ways to break off an affair
• Online counseling service
• Recommended reading