How to Care for Elderly Relatives
Taking care of elderly relatives is a responsibility most of us will assume at some point in our lives. There are a few steps to follow that will ensure your relative's safety, happiness and comfort. With a few basic tips, you can lovingly care for an elderly family member.
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Instructions
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Assess your relative's needs and behavior. If she has shown any danger signs, it may be time to consider an alternative living situation where she will receive more guidance. According to the U.S. Department of State's Family Liaison Office, danger signs include symptoms such as "sudden weight loss, failure to take medication or over-dosing, burns or injury marks, deterioration of personal habits, increased car accidents, bizarre behavior, or disorientation."
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Allow your relative to take an active role in any decision-making process. According to Dr. Mikol Davis of agingparents.com, "an older person's resistance is about loss of control and the fear associated with that. It is also about denial. The symbolic meaning of accepting help means that 'I am less capable than before, that I am failing, that I may have to be put somewhere.'" In order to anticipate this need and overcome the frustration, Davis suggests to "involve the elder in the process of telling you what would make a good worker if she needed one. Ask her opinion. Get her feedback. She may just feel more in control if you do."
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Determine an appropriate living situation. If your relative can still continue living on his own, there are a plethora of options available to help him with day to day activities. The State Department suggests "home care services, adult day care, meals and transportation services, or respite care." However, if your relative would like to be in a community with other adults his age, or needs more substantial care, consider one of the following, suggested by the State Department: "adult congregate communities, assisted living communities, rental retirement communities, life care, personal care homes, subsidized housing for the elderly, or a nursing home."
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Decide on appropriate insurance. Your relative can enroll in Medicare if she is over 65. According to the State Department, Medicare is split into two parts, hospital and medical insurance. "Hospital insurance helps pay the cost of inpatient care, but not nursing home care. Medical insurance pays for many medically necessary doctors' services." You may also consider buying an extra insurance plan, because Medicare will not cover all your relative's needs. Medicaid is also an option for low income elderly.
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Ensure all legal documents are in order. According to the Gilbert Guide, elder-care adviser, your relative should "choose a trusted person to be the durable power of attorney (someone to make financial decisions), choose a person as a medical power of attorney, (someone to make medical decisions), and write a living will." These documents should be readily available in case there is a hospital stay. However, for more typical doctor's visits, Gilbert Guide advises caregivers to always take your relative's "insurance card, list of current and past medications and care plan" whenever there is a doctor's appointment.
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Tips & Warnings
Continue to respect and listen to your elderly relative during this time. If she feels involved in the situation, she will be more likely to compromise and accept change. If your relative is living with you or if you are taking on a brunt of this responsibility, allow yourself to take time just for you and your personal needs. It is okay to put some physical or emotional space between you and your loved one to help alleviate stress.
