To be successful in bed, a man must strike the balance between stamina and arousal. If a man is too aroused, the experience can be too short to satisfy his partner. However, sacrificing pleasure just to last longer isn't ideal either. There are a few simple techniques to lengthen your sexual experience without sacrificing all the enjoyment.
Things You'll Need
- Desensitizing lotion
Recite lists in your head. This is the most classic way that men delay sexual gratification. One of the main reasons men can't last as long as they want to is that they are psyching themselves out too much. If you're overeager or too much in the moment, a fast ending is a major risk. One way to slow the mind down is to think about other things. While you can think about anything you want, lists are a good way to keep the mind from wandering too much. The baseball list is perhaps the most well-known method. For this list, the man thinks about baseball teams and goes through all the players and stats associated with that team. You can apply the list to any topics, though. For instance, try to come up with fruits or animals that begin with each letter of the alphabet. Other possible ideas include recitation of the 50 U.S. states, Super Bowl winners or Olympics locations. Try not to spend the entire time thinking of lists, though. Use this device as a way to calm down your nerves.
Another alternative that works for some people is to clear the mind as completely as possible. Try not to think about sex or anything as if you were meditating.
Take a break to return to foreplay. A return to kissing or oral pleasure will give you a chance to rest while progressing the action of the experience. Plus, your partner will think you're especially dedicated. Once you feel a bit more in control, resume with the regular lovemaking.
Change positions. If one position feels too good, try another. Communicate with your partner as well. Sometimes the most pleasurable positions for you might not be the most exciting for your partner. If your partner really likes one position that's more tolerable for you, it's the best of both worlds. Positions such as missionary (standard man on top), sitting inside (lying with your legs crossed while your partner gets on top and faces you) and any position that has your partner move front-to-back instead of up-and-down can help control the overall tempo of the lovemaking. If the tempo is more manageable, many men can last longer.
Apply a small amount of desensitizing lotion. Some condom companies, such as Trojan, have products with desensitizing lubricant already in it. If not, look for a standalone product such as Durex Maintain or Boy Butter. Different products offer varying degrees of numbness. Try a few out and make sure to go for that happy medium. You still want to feel something, right?
Build up stamina through masturbation. If you attempt to elongate your masturbation experience, you will hone some important skills. For instance, as you masturbate and approach climax, stop the moment before you reach orgasm. Wait a second and then resume. This will train your body and mind to conquer orgasms that sneak up too quickly.
Tips & Warnings
- Experiment with different methods to find the best for you. If it doesn't work the first time, try again. Patience will pay off.
- Talk to your partner. Although premature ejaculation is often embarrassing, it doesn't have to be. Work through the solution together.
- While reciting lists, make sure not to speak out loud by accident.
- Read all the warning labels on desensitizing lotions for safe use.
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