Things You'll Need:
- Paper & pen
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Step 1
Step one involves doing some soul searching of your own. Review past relationships and begin writing down what you liked and didn't like. This is a good start to your list. Be very particular and don't be afraid to include specifics such as "single." You don't want to find the perfect person only to find they are married to someone else.
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Step 2
My list had 65 items on it. Think that's a lot? Think of all the areas you need to cover: physical looks, personality, interests, emotional stability, what they do for a living, where they live, what are their life goals. Make sure their goals are similar to yours. Do you want to settle down and get married? Then put on your list, "Wants to settle down and get married. Do you want kids? Be specific. Can this person already have kids of their own or do you want them to be childless but ready to have a child with you? When you think about it, 65 items might not be enough. Don't forget to put possible negative items on your list such as no abusive or controlling behavior.
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Step 3
Go over your list with a trusted friend. Oftentimes they know you better than you know yourself. Not everything has to be specific. Age, for example, could be a range such as five years older or five years younger. The same is true of physical features. If you don't care about hair color or eye color then don't include it on the list.
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Step 4
Once your list is complete, make two copies. One is for your ceremony and the other is for you to keep and refer to as you meet new people. Take the list that you are keeping and arrange the order of the items with the most important items at the top. Put a star or highlight any items you are not willing to compromise on or do without.
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Step 5
Some things you can discover about a person when you first meet them. To help in these situations, take your list and make a short list of items that can be learned in a brief meeting. This will help you determine if this person has potential and whether or not you would want to go on a date with them or not.
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Step 6
This next step is crucial. It makes the list more than a shopping list for a mate. It's time to create a ceremony. This ceremony is what makes your list real. Your ceremony should have meaning for YOU. Here are a few examples, but remember, YOUR ceremony should be just that. ..YOURS.
Out with the Old, In with the New: Gather and burn photos of past relationships to start anew. Then burn your list to send it out into the universe.
Into the Earth: Place your list in a special box or container. Find a place with meaning to you and bury the list. Place a special stone or marker over the spot. -
Step 7
Now for the hardest step of all ... stop dating people who are not right for you. The purpose of the list is to create the image of the perfect person so you will recognize them when you find them. Stick to your list.
In the meantime, keep busy while you are waiting for Mr. or Ms. right to come along. Join clubs, take classes, travel ... this is where you will bump into people with similar interests, then use the list to remind yourself what you REALLY want. Don't be distracted by another pretty face or athletic body. Stick to the list and be patient and true love will come to you.
Comments
bakerthebrand said
on 8/28/2009 This is a nice post. I really like the last step. It's important to stick to your list.