How to Teach Teenagers to be Successful

Teens want to be winners; however, they often feel like losers. When they make a mistake they feel defeated and may give up too quickly. Here are ways to encourage your teen to keep trying so that they can be successful.

Instructions

1. Praise effort. When you acknowledge the efforts teens are making you are conveying a positive message that setbacks are normal. Fretting sends a negative message that your teen is doing it all wrong. Setbacks set us back, but they don't stop us from going forward.

2. Be proud of teens for trying. If you are proud of your teen for trying, they will be willing to try again. Every successful winner has experienced mistakes along the way. Tell them that mistakes are opportunities for learning.

3. Retreat, reevaluate and regroup. After a setback or defeat, a teen needs downtime to recover from the letdown and from any embarrassment they may be feeling. The sting of defeat can last an hour or a month or more, depending on the teen's personality and the nature of the letdown. Give space to unwind and recover. When the time is right, bring up the subject gently. Retreating time is not for beating yourself up or putting yourself down. It's time to recover and make adjustments.

4. Ask: "How can I help?" Say: "I will help you begin again."

5. Repeat this message: "Good things are coming your way." Success depends on going for it, working hard and believing that good things are coming. Tell them over and over again: "If you keep going for it, good things will come."

6. Put a positive spin. Tell the stories of your own defeats and what you learned from failure. There are successful people in every walk of life from sports to business to the arts and entertainment who faced defeats and found success.

7. Use this slogan: "It is OK to fail; it is not OK to give up."

8. Find the lesson learned. With every setback there is a lesson to be learned. Help your teen focus on the lesson so that she can incorporate it into her forward action plan.

9. Wholeheartedly believe in your teen and tell him often that you do.

10. Focus on the goal and keep the dream in mind.

11. Take it one step at a time. Point out what has already been achieved. A ladder is climbed one rung at a time.

12. Remain optimistic, upbeat and positive. Find things to laugh about, but don't poke fun at the teen. Laughing indicates that the teen is up for challenge and already a winner