How to Adjust to Becoming a Grandparent

Grandbabies are for cuddling.

Just when you thought you had parenting conquered--you are about to become a grandparent--and suddenly see your own child from a whole new perspective. Here's how to make a smooth adjustment and enjoy your new grandparenting role.

Instructions

1. Fancy your new name. As soon as you catch your breath after hearing that earth-moving announcement-"You're going to be a grandparent"-you're likely to begin pondering names. Not baby names-that's the parents' prerogative-but grandparent names. What will your grandchild call you?

2. Prepare for adjustments. Nothing prepares you for the breathtaking moment when you see your child-who in some ways is still your baby-holding, cuddling and caring for a little human being. Once you took care of your child's every need and now your child is caring for a baby. Learning to relate to the new image of your child can be more formidable than grandparenting. It will take a little time, and that's OK.

3. Remain flexible. Whether your adult kids are working moms or stay-at-home dads, be willing to understand their life choices. Parenting styles are different now than when you were raising children, and the changes in the world your grandchildren will experience are virtually unfathomable.

4. Be realistic. A relationship with your grandchildren takes time, patience, resilience and imagination. Be realistic in your expectations, try new approaches, stick with it, smile and laugh often.

5. Make every day count. Savor you time alone; stay closely connected to family and friends; take care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Within you are untapped resources. Be a positive role model for aging. Like fine wine, the human spirit gets better with age.

6. It is OK to say "no" to babysitting. If you don't like to babysit or if your schedule is too full to provide routine daycare, it is OK to say, "no." Let the parents know what you're willing to do.

7. Make room for other grandparents. It's likely that both sets of grandparents want to be involved. Make the effort to make the joint grandparenting pleasant. No need to compete. Grandchildren benefit from all the love that comes their way.