How to Be Respected at Work
Respect. We all want it. Being respected makes us feel needed; it makes us feel valuable; it makes us feel validated; it makes us feel really good. In order to feel safe and sane in our personal relationships--whether platonic or romantic--we need to be respected, and the same thing goes for professional, work relationships. If you are respected at your place of employment, chances are you will do a better job at your job and you will enjoy your work much more. Respect can also mean more potential for advancement and added job security, as bosses are much less likely to fire the people whom they admire. But as Karen Burns, author and career blogger, writes in her new book, THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF WORKING GIRL, "Respect is not something you can pursue. Nope, it's a by-product of other things that you pursue. Namely, integrity, candor, trustworthiness, excellence, decency--you know, being a good person." Let these tips show you the right way to be respected at work.
- Difficulty:
- Moderate
Instructions
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Arrive on time; dress for success; do the job you are paid to do. These are the absolute basic, no-brainer tenets of employment, yet many people fail to do them. If you consistently arrive to work 15 minutes late, if you look sloppy or if you spend hours on Facebook when you should be--you know--working, you send a message that you really don't care about your job. And if you really don't care about your job, nobody is going to take you seriously. And if people don't take you seriously, it's certain that they won't respect you.
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2
Give respect. In order to get respect, you must give it to others. And you must give it to everyone equally. Everyone! Equally! That includes your overbearing boss, your loudmouth coworkers, your ditzy intern, the janitor, the mailman, the cranky customer, the bus driver who gets you to and from work and the barista who makes your mid-morning latte. Most importantly, however, that includes you. If you respect yourself truly and deeply you won't long to be respected by others. The funny thing is, people with self-respect who don't worry about whether or not they are respected by others, are usually the most respected people around.
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3
Do a good job for the sake of doing a good job, not for the sake of being recognized for your good job. We may think that our internal motivations are private to us, but the truth is, our ego-driven desires for recognition are easy to see. And they aren't pretty. I know because I've seen it in others and (I'm humbled to admit) in myself. Keep your motivations pure and remember that, while it is nice to be acknowledged, doing a good job feels good in and of itself. If you do your best always, even on the smallest of tasks, you will shine regardless of who is or is not watching.
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4
Drop out of workplace social politics. Rise above petty power struggles. Keep your private life private. Do not join the gossip bandwagon. When it comes to workplace chatter, keep your discussions focused on work topics, and remember: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Unless of course your complaints are founded, job-related and addressed through the proper channels. In other words, complaining to your coworkers about how your boss's personality irritates you is disrespectful and destructive, while scheduling a meeting with your boss or your company's human resources person to address specific problems is respectful and productive.
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5
Take criticism in stride. Don't get defensive. Don't make excuses. Don't take it personally. Don't cry. When criticism is directed toward you at the workplace, take a deep breath and compartmentalize your emotions from the situation. As Karen Burns writes in her book, "When you are criticized--as sooner or later, you will be--your first action should be a nonaction. You should say this and only this, 'Thank you. Let me think about your comments and get back to you.' " When you leave work, you can vent and cry, but only for 30 minutes and no more. Wallowing never earns respect. Get over your bruised ego and take an honest look at yourself and the critiques you were given. Find the nuggets of wisdom in the criticism and use those nuggets to help you become better. After all, people respect those who are able to learn from their mistakes and improve themselves. If the criticism you received was mean-spirited and lacking any grain of truth, ignore it completely and continue to grow into a better person anyway. At the workplace, the best revenge is a job well done.
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6
Don't be a "yes man." Taking on extra work may make you think that you're on a path to respect, but the truth is nobody will benefit from your being overworked and stressed. Say "yes" to added responsibility only if you are excited and able to meet the obligations. Never be afraid to say "no," because sometimes saying "no" is the greatest act of respect that you can perform.
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7
Be honest. Be curious. Be dynamic. Be willing to change. Be willing to learn. Believe in yourself. You are worthy. You deserve respect.
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