How to Help a Suspected Victim of Domestic Abuse

Victims of domestic abuse may feel powerless and trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Friends and family may feel just as powerless about finding solutions or offering a hand. Sometimes, just listening and offering kind words may comfort a victim, but the feelings of powerlessness remain. You can empower a victim of domestic violence by setting realistic objectives and applying functional exercises. Open the doors to freedom for someone you care about today.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Phone number to domestic violence hotline
• Legal and financial documents
• Storage medium

How to Help a Suspected Victim of Domestic Abuse

1. Express concern to someone you care about and talk about what you can do to help. Tell the victim that you fear for his safety, and explain that the violence only worsens when a victim stays in an abusive relationship. Assure the victim that you will be there when she is ready to leave.

2. Give the victim the number of the domestic violence hotline. Write down the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or TTY [phone]. Ask the victim to add this contact information to an address book or other place for safekeeping. Hotline counselors may coordinate a safe place for the victim to go and explain legal rights if needed.

3. Make a survival kit together so she takes important items along when it is time to leave. Pack a change of clothes, money for a cab, prescriptions, address book and extra house or car keys. Keep important financial and legal documents in the kit such as banking and insurance information, birth certificates, and protection orders or separation agreements. Consider filing these documents through mobile storage mediums or use an online storage service (see Resources). Leave this kit with a trusted friend or relative.

4. Plan an escape route around the victim's home or workplace. Consider all areas in the home and workplace that would allow a victim to escape, such as windows, doors, basement, attic at home or stairwells, private elevators, or emergency exits at work. Rehearse this escape strategy and consider plans if the victim has children or is carrying a load, such as a survival kit or medical equipment when exiting through these mediums.

5. Encourage the victim to avoid dangerous areas in the home when conflict escalates. The garage and kitchen have tools that the abuser could use for assault. Suggest to the victim that moving to a safer room before an argument erupts could prevent a serious accident.

6. Review the escape strategy and update the survival kit with the victim regularly. Make sure the victim keeps updated records in the survival kit, and have her make changes such as adding new house or car keys. Monitor changes to the escape strategy such as checking the operational function of doors, windows and other outlets.

7. Speak out against domestic violence when you suspect or witness abuse. Report suspected violence to authorities so they may conduct an investigation. This information may play an important role in a criminal or civil case against the abuser.

Tips & Warnings

• Ask neighbors to keep a keen eye on their neighborhood activities, such as any unusual events or people in the neighborhood. Talk to the victim about using a bank deposit box for safe storage of valuable jewelry, important documents and other small items such as an extra set of house keys.
• Do not push away a friendship or rapport with someone you care about if the victim does not comply with your plans or advice. You planted a seed of hope for a victim, and distancing your relationship with her could prevent that seed from germinating.

References

• U.S. Department of Agriculture, Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook
• National Domestic Hotline

Resources

• Online Document Storage