How to Discipline a Hyperactive Child
Children who are hyperactive have a special set of needs and therefore need a specific type of parenting. Learning how to correctly discipline your hyperactive child will result in a happier, less-stressed child and a better parent/child relationship. Successful parenting requires "patience, persistence, and consistency" according to Dr. Julian Haber, and good discipline does not humiliate, degrade or cause anxiety. The following research-based strategies offer tactics for successfully parenting a hyperactive child.
- Difficulty:
- Moderate
Instructions
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Establish strong, structured guidelines. In a quiet moment with your child, explain the expectations and the consequences of misbehavior. Your child should be well aware of these guidelines so that nothing is a surprise.
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Implement time-out for minor infractions. According to Dr. David Stein, time-out is useful only if the child gets "little or zero stimulation." Dr. Stein suggests placing the child in a comfortable chair that is removed from the main activity of the house but is not facing a wall. Do not physically place your child in time-out, and do not talk to your child while he is in time out. Keep the child in time-out for an appropriate amount of time for his age. When the time is up, ask the child to explain why he was sent to time-out. If the child cannot explain, he should return to time-out for a second round.
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3
Use "reinforcement removal" for more severe behaviors. Dr. Stein suggests this strategy for behaviors such as lying, hitting or stealing. The parent makes a list of seven items or activities that are important to a child and takes one item away when she breaks a pre-established rule. For example, the parent explains to the child that if she lies, her favorite game will be taken away from her. When she makes the choice to lie, the consequence has been predetermined. Take the possession or activity away from the child for a length of time appropriate to her age.
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Be consistent and follow through. After you've explained the expectations and consequences, children should be able to expect them each time there is an infraction. Do not give into negotiation. If you are inconsistent or too flexible with the rules, your child will see you as unpredictable and easily manipulated.
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Reinforce good behaviors. Remember to always compliment your child whenever you see him making a good choice. Reinforcing positive behaviors with compliments or small rewards will teach your child what is expected of him, and he will be more likely to make better choices in the future.
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Use "I" messages to speak to your child. According to authors Drs. Allen Mendler, and Richard L. Curwin, "I" messages "actively and respectfully tells the youth what he did, how you feel about it, and what you need from the child." Always maintain the dignity of the child in all situations, and always give the impression that you are in control of the situation.
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Use the "LAAD" strategy to diffuse a power struggle. According to Drs. Mendler and Curwin, their "LAAD" tactic, or "Listening, Acknowledging, Agreeing, and Deferring" can quickly bring peace to an escalating situation. To implement "LAAD," look at your child when she is speaking, and then repeat what she has shared. Then, acknowledge how this situation must make her feel but do not judge her for her feelings. Next, agree, by finding something in what your child has shared that you can understand and sympathize with. Then, if necessary, defer the situation by telling her that you feel that it is best to end the discussion. If your child refuses, invite her to physically remove herself from the situation so she can calm down on her own.
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Tips & Warnings
For some children, nonverbal cues work well to alert them of behavior that could result in a consequence. Don't be discouraged if these tactics don't work right away. Consistency and persistence are key.
