How to Properly Discipline a Baby

Once your baby becomes mobile it is time to start employing some basic principles of discipline. Society typically associates discipline with punishment, harsher consequences, or even spanking. This is not the proper way to discipline a baby. Proper discipline practices with an infant should be focused on providing knowledge and skills. What you teach your baby during this time will serve your child as they grow into toddlers and preschoolers. You will be laying a solid foundation for their future. Furthermore, the need for future discipline should diminish. The result is a happier environment for both parent and child.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Take steps to assess what is going on with your infant and minimize the cause. Assessing your baby's frame of mind is the first step to implementing discipline. No one understands an infant better than the parents. Does your baby tend to lose control when hungry, tired, or off their normal routine? Many flare ups can be reduced or eliminated by making sure you have met your child's basic needs.

2. You should also take time to assess how your baby's actions affect you. Our culture has created a “perfect parent” expectation. Parents often feel pressure to be perfect all the time. The reality is that parenting is the hardest thing any of us will ever do. It is also the most rewarding. There will be times when even the sweetest baby will cause a parent to become frustrated. Think about how to deal with these frustrations before they actually occur. Play out the scenario in your mind. Plan how you will react. Mentally practice handling the situation in a calm and clear manner. Good preparation will lead to calm and effective discipline.

3. Practice basic calming techniques for yourself. Take several deep breaths. Remember to put the situation in perspective, you can handle this little guy or girl. Remember that the baby is acting naturally. It is your job as a parent to guide and teach them so they can learn. Always be aware of your state of mind. Stop yourself before you become too frustrated and take a moment to calm down.
   
   If it gets to be too much, consider calling your partner or a family member to vent a little. Associate with other parents. No one understands better than them. Carve out time during the day to rejuvenate yourself with a hot bath, some quite time alone, or by being with friends.

4. Establish a routine for your baby. Try to stay on a schedule each day. Infants and toddlers feel secure when they have a structured environment. Knowing what is coming next makes them comfortable in their environment. Every baby is unique, so you will need to be somewhat flexible and follow your baby's temperament. Form the routine around your child and your life.

5. Don't be too rigid with your baby's routine. Break the routine into larger areas of activity. Consider this format: Eat, activity, and finally sleep. But don't feel the need to micromanage each block of time. You do not need to make sure your child plays the exact same way everyday at 11 a.m. Just provide a consistent time for play, for meals, and also a consistent sleep schedule.

6. Provide a safe environment for your baby. Discipline often begins by creating an environment that gives the child the best opportunity to succeed. Babies are curious and they want to explore. This should make you proud. Be encouraged, it is a sign of growing intelligence.

7. However, you also need to understand that the baby cannot differentiate between a sparkling crystal vase and a toy block. In the baby's mind, both need to be touched and explored. Remove the infant's access to any potentially dangerous or valuable items. Use baby gates, childproof devices, and most importantly – common sense.

8. Use the discipline technique of redirection and distraction. As a baby gets older (and wiser) they will be better prepared to understand what is and is not appropriate. However in the early stages, they may just not get it. If your child is determined to grab your metal fork at the table, distract them by handing them a toy or other safe item – maybe their own soft utensil. If the baby is determined to climb up the bookshelf, go to the child and show them a ball or other favorite toy. Divert the baby's attention to a safe activity. This will prevent a melt down. In the process your baby will gradually learn that item A is not for play, but item B is for play.

9. Ignoring a baby's behavior can sometimes be an effective form of discipline. Babies and toddlers learn that any attention can be good. Nothing gets Mommy or Daddy to come quicker than acting up. It will take time and insight to learn when to ignore a certain behavior. Never ignore behavior that is dangerous or harmful. However, if the baby is just throwing a common tantrum, you should not reinforce the action by providing the attention the child seeks.

10. Be a good example to your baby. If you react to frustrating situations by yelling, stomping, or in a dramatic manner – your baby will learn to respond in the same way. If you remain calm and cool, your child will learn this is the proper way to behave. If your baby bites, don't discipline them by biting back. Always think about what the child will learn from your example. Children do not need to feel pain to learn discipline.

11. Positive reinforcement is a hallmark of good discipline. Make sure you provide praise more often than “No”. Work hard to catch your baby being good. Studies have shown that children who have a higher ratio of positive to negative feedback do better in their development. Babies naturally want to please. Put them in a position to succeed and be sure to let them know when they have. This will lead to more good behavior.

12. When the time comes to discipline your baby for doing something unsafe or improper, make sure you do it properly. Use a sharp and firm voice. Be consistent in the terms you use, e.g. “No” or “Hot” or “Down”. If they are reaching for something dangerous, hold their hand as well. Try not to be over dramatic as this can desensitize the child to your commands. Use eye contact to communicate with your baby. Infants learn to read facial expressions before any other form of communication. When disciplining your baby, combine your voice with a firm look. There is no need to be mean or scary, just be sure they understand you are serious.

13. Hug your baby after the moment of discipline has passed. Your baby will learn that while you don't like the specific behavior, you do love them.

[emilywhitby1]

on 7/17/2009 Thanks for a thorough, well thought-out article on disciplining--step #1 is a great reminder that the first and most important part of disciplining is...teaching! Great advice, 5*

[ceholmes]

on 7/5/2009 Excellent points, especially step 11. Building self-esteem starts in the early stages so I can see how children do perform better in social areas like schools when they feel better about themselves! 5*

[Mindee94]

on 7/5/2009 These are excellent points, which many are applicable to children of all ages. Keeping perspective is one of the keys to appropriate discipline. Probably also one of the hardest to maintain. Thanks for these essentials for all parents to remember always. Mindee

[veryirie]

on 6/28/2009 Sound advice for any new parent. Deep breathing gives you a chance to remember that you're the adult and they're the child. :)

[greatgreat8]

on 6/27/2009 great tips 5*