How to support an Army wife or Army husband of a deployed soldier

So you know someone who's spouse is deployed. You have no idea what to do or how to act. Here are some tips to help you add yourself to their life.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Be patient.
   If you send and email or call and get no response be patient. Just call back or send another email. There are days that spouses of a deployed soldier just can keep up with messages.

2. Add don't subtract.
   Add in where you can help. Stop by, cook dinner, help out, drop off food, ask them over, or anything else helpful that comes to mind. All these things can be greatly appreciated. One of the best things is hearing " I'll be glad to come over and help you out"

3. Don't ever say " I know how you feel"
   Unless you have a spouse that has been deployed you don't know. There is nothing worse than someone comparing a deployment to a business trip.

4. Don't ever say "You should be used to it by now"
   This is the best way to really tick off this spouse. They chose this life but getting used to an endless war is ridiculous.

5. They are not divorced.
   Don't treat them that way. They may want to check with their spouse on things. Don't expect them to make all their decisions alone and quickly.

6. Handle with kids with care.
   Their parent was just taken away. This makes kids really angry. Taking a kid away from the other parent can lead to disaster. When dealing with children and a deployment take your cues from the parents. Go over and help out with the kids don't ask to take them unless this is something you have done before.

7. Do ask them to dinner
   Do stop by
   Do call or email
   Do ask them to events
   If they turn you down don't take it personally just ask them out another time.

8. Be patient again.
   This can be one of the most rewarding friendships you will ever have in your life. Try not to be too aggressive. This is your friend. Be good to them and they will be good to you.

[cb4me]

on 10/4/2009 Great insider tips, thanks!

[nancycarol]

on 10/4/2009 I loved How to Support an Army Wife or Army Husband of a Deployed Soldier. I'm a veteran, and we have many soldiers of various services in our family. You gave some really good tips. Thanks, *5 and a recommend.

[aquaeyedgirl]

on 7/13/2009 While I was never the spouse waiting on the soldier, my wonderful husband was the one waiting on me to return. You provided excellent ideas to the public on helping many of our military families while they wait the safe return of their soldier. 5 stars

[poetryman69]

on 6/28/2009 some nice tips on how to care for the relatives of the deployed.

[kaseysviewblog]

on 6/24/2009 Excellent tips. Being the spouse of an deployed soldier can be very hard.