Things You'll Need:
- A harness
- A dildo
- A partner (optional, but more fun)
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Step 1
The first thing you need to consider is the harness. There are several different styles to choose from.
The jock style is often (but not always) better for dildo support. So if you're going to want to use a heavier dildo, this is probably a good harness choice. It is also ideal for women who don't like the feel of a thong between their legs. These types of harnesses are also good for men (yes, men can use a harness too) as they don't squish their natural genitalia as a thong style harness would.
The thong style harness is usually a bit sleeker in design and generally has less too it (which is usually cheaper). Some users feel that this style is sexier than it's jock counterpart. And some women find that the crotch of the thong style harness provides them with extra stimulation.
Last, the thigh style harness is great for those who feel uncomfortable using either other type of harness. It also, generally, provides the most thrusting power, as the legs are more powerful than the pelvis. This type of harness is usually pretty cheap, but works well for some women.
Once you've chosen a style, you need to decide what material your harness should be made out of. Neoprene is a common material, usually found in the cheaper models. Neoprene is fine, but some women feel that it is irritating against their skin. Neoprene can be machine washed. This material is good for a first timer.
Then there is PVC, which is smoother than Neoprene, but cheaper than it's Leather counterpart. More expensive PVC models can mimic leather very well, which is great for vegan users. PVC is pretty easy to clean. Some models can be washed in the washing machine, others have to be hand washed.
Last comes Leather, which is considered by some to be the creme de la creme of harness material. Which can be somewhat true. Leather is a very nice feeling material, many women prefer it's feel to Neoprene and cheap PVC, however cheaply made leather harnesses aren't really that fabulous. They come apart easily and often don't have that nice buttery texture of the more expensive leather. So if you're going to go with leather, make sure it's good quality. By far leather's biggest downfall (other than price) is its difficulty to clean. It must be hand washed, but generally had to be done so with a damn cloth, no submersion. It's also advisable to use a leather care product on it, much like you would a baseball glove.
Last, make sure whatever harness you chose fits well and is comfortab -
Step 2
Next is the dildo.
Size is an extremely personal matter. But try to pick a size that is comfortable for your partner. Generally for beginners interested in vaginal penetration, 5 or 6 inches in length with a realistic girth is good. For beginners interested in anal penetration, 4 or 5 inches in length with a modest girth is best to start with. Remember, you can always buy a new toy to accommodate your partner as they become more advances, but you don't want to hurt your partner starting out. You also want to make sure whatever size dildo you chose has a flared base wide enough to be held in place my your harness.
Now that you've decided on length and girth, you must choose a material.
Cyberskin is nice and one of the most realistic materials out there. But it is also porous and unable to be sterilized. So if you're not sure about your partner's STD status, or might use it on multiple partners, or want to use it for vaginal and anal play, either put a condom on it every time or this material is not for you. These dildos tend to be moderately expensive.
PVC is another material used. It's kind of hard and dense, but also can't be sterilized so the same rules apply. PVC is pretty cheap.
Generic rubber is one of the most common materials. It's rubbery and floppy and generally has a pretty strong smell. This material can't be sterilized either, so again, the same rules apply. Generic rubber is very cheap.
Last there is silicone, which is the most hygienic material available. It's texture can range from very firm, to fairly realistic based on it's molding process. It can be sterilized so it doesn't come with the issues that most other materials do. It does not have a smell and will generally outlast all other materials. But, they are pricey. And don't be fooled by partial silicone products, they're not the same. Be careful not to use silicone lube with any silicone dildo too, as the dildo will desentigrate if you do.
Other materials like glass, wood, and metal, while they can be great toys, aren't good for harness play. They're too hard and make it too easy to hurt your partner. And latex, as a dildo material is completely worthless, extremely cheap, but completely worthless, don't bother. -
Step 3
Once you've picked out the harness and dildo you want to get yourself familiar with the products before you try and use them with a partner. Wear the set up often to get used to it. Even masturbate in it. You can try jacking off as a guy would, or thrusting into pillows.
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Step 4
Now that you're ready for partner play you must pick a lube. Lube is important because it will make penetration easier, especially if your partner isn't used to it. Lube is even more essential for anal play.
If you're using condoms (or a latex dildo against my suggestion) you must use a water based lubricant. However if you're not, you may use an oil based lubricant or silicone based lubricant.
However, as I previously mentioned, if you're using a dildo with silicone in it, you may not use silicone lube or your toy will melt. Oh, as a warning, Cyberskin has silicone in it.
Now, onto the textures. Water based lube tends to be fairly thin and wears off soon, so if you need lube for anal and it must be water based, get a product specially made for anal (like anal ease). If you can use an oil based product, good, use one, and make sure it's a thick one.
Silicone lube is thin like water based lube, but doesn't dry out fast like water based does. However, as a warning, silicone lube gets everywhere and is so hard to get off. If you spill this product on a hard surface, it's pretty much going to be there forever (okay, slight exaggeration, but you get my point). It's a mess to clean off of yourself too. -
Step 5
Now it's time to use your set up with your partner. Positions are a personal thing and what position you choose is completely up to you. Though a simple one like missionary or rear entry is probably best to begin with.
The biggest thing here is to start out slow (especially for anal) and let your partner set the pace. This ensures you don't hurt him or her.
Basically what comes next is what you do with any type of sex, just find out what works best for the two of you. What position, what speed, what angle, etc. -
Step 6
Last, don't forget the clean up! Well cared for toys are happy and long lasting toys. Make sure and read the manufacturers instructions on how to clean the toys...don't want any mishaps.
