How to be the PERFECT dinner party guest...and get invited back

Eating out with friends or sharing a meal in the home of a friend is a pleasure we all enjoy. But, a bona fide dinner party is a rare and special occasion indeed. Follow these tips, and you're sure to be invited to the next dinner party.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Appropriate attire
• A small gift for the host
• Good manners
• Dinner conversation topics
• "Thank You" card

1. ACCEPTING THE INVITATION
   Some people still send out handwritten invitations for dinner parties. Others may use an online variety, such as Evite. Other invitations may be more informal like a phone call or email. If you need to check with your spouse, partner, or significant other before accepting the invitation, do so in a timely fashion. Send RSVP's or regrets in the time requested.

2. WHAT SHALL I BRING? (Do I ask?)
   A dinner party is often more formal than a "friendly" dinner with close friends. In some situations, it may be appropriate to ask if you can bring something to contribute to the meal, but in most cases it is not. Often, the hosts of the party will have already planned a specific menu for the event. In this case, bringing a food item would seem inappropriate.

3. BRING A SMALL GIFT FOR THE HOSTS
   It is always appropriate and considered good manners to bring a small gift to the dinner party. A nice bottle of wine is a good option, but NEVER expect the bottle to be uncorked and served at the party. The wine selections will have been made along with the menu for the evening. You might take a bouquet of flowers or a nice box of candy. If you know your hosts well, you might consider a gift that is appropriate for their interests and tastes.

4. MAKE POLITE CONVERSATION WITH THE OTHER GUESTS.
   Be prepared with a few "neutral" conversation starters. You might be prepared to chat about a local event or news item, a book you just read, a play you saw recently, or how lovely the weather has been. Remember that most people LOVE to talk about themselves, so asking about another's interests is always a great way to get the conversation started. Topics to avoid--religion and politics--of course!

5. KNOW PROPER DINNER ETIQUETTE.
   Read the appropriate sections of a book on etiquette before attending the dinner party. Brush up on table settings, which utensils to use with each course, the placement of your bread plate, etc. Do not begin eating until everyone has been served, and the host or honored guest begins. Do not finish eating before others are finishing. And, do not be the last person eating.

6. TIME YOUR EXIT
   Do not leave the party prematurely, but do not overstay your welcome. Watch for cues from the party hosts that the evening is winding down. Be sure to say goodbye to the other guests as well as your hosts.

7. SEND A THANK YOU NOTE
   Take the time to send a handwritten thank you note via the mail. An email is an acceptable thank you, but a handwritten note is always a lovely touch. Everyone likes receiving mail. Thank the hosts for a lovely evening. Tell them how much you enjoyed meeting the other guests. Be sure to send the Thank You note within a week of attending the party.

Tips & Warnings

• If you've RSVP'd for a party and then find you are unable to attend, let the hosts know as soon as possible.
• Be sure to eat whatever is placed on your plate. If you have any special dietary needs, it is appropriate to let the hosts know before the party.
• When interacting with other guests at the party, try to be as friendly and outgoing as you would be if they were guests in your own home.
• Be sure to watch how much you drink. Getting intoxicated at a dinner party will certainly guarantee your absence from the next guest list.
• Do not expect to be seated next to your spouse or date.
• Do not ask to be reseated or rearrange the place cards yourself.