How to Unleash The Dominatrix Within

This is not an introduction to the BDSM scene. This is more about what adopting aspects of the dominatrix role in sex and in life can do for you, both personally and sexually. So let's get those whips crackin', shall we?

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Take control of yourself. The dominatrix is the paradigm of self-control. She is a woman who lives by her own rules and doesn't rely on other people to make her complete. She treats herself like a queen, ensuring health and happiness. And as one so in touch with and in control of herself, she is more likely to adapt to and control circumstance than have circumstance use her as its plaything.

2. Take control of your relationship. Note that I did not say to take control of your partner. You can't control your lover and nor should you try. To put it in BDSM terms: The "top" does not actually control the "bottom", so much as the top seizes the initiatve by controlling the options available to the bottom. An "erotic maestra" (Prioleau), she leaves nothing to chance and has no time for quaint notions about "meant to be". If she wants someone, she goes after them or gets them to come after her. She seeks pleasure and gets it. She is not a passive object, but an active figure of power.

3. The dominatrix, being a figure often associated with pain, is no stranger to doling out a well-deserved lashing. The problem with most women is their inability to confront conflict within the relationship. We either nag and whine or avoid the conflict altogether.
   
   Taking a page from the dominatrix's book, we would do well to let our actions do the talking, to stop wasting our words when we need to be getting results. Put your foot down. Address the issue. Do battle with it. And win.

4. And finally: The dominatrix is a larger-than-life figure and holds herself as such. Her walk, her style, her choice of words: It's all juiced up to the maximum, elegantly devastating, endlessly mesmerizing. Part of her appeal is "impact", the sheer force of her effect on others. Whether she wears a business suit, a pair of jeans or head-to-toe leather, she carries herself like a goddess. This carries beyond her appearance. Though she doesn't wear a crown, she is a regal being, royal in her own way.

5. If you happen to be an actual dominatrix, see Resources below.

Resources

• How to Buy a Quality Riding Crop

[powerleg5]

on 7/5/2009 I agree wholeheartedly, very well put.