How to know if your partner is a high functioning alcoholic (HFA)
High-functioning alcoholics defy the stereotypes about what alcoholism does to a person's life. They can maintain their relationships, succeed in the workplace and keep their homes and daily routines. They don't stumble around, reek of whiskey or forget to shave. Nonetheless, their heavy drinking is affecting their lives, however efficiently they cover the signs. If you suspect that your partner is an HFA, trust your instincts -- if he drinks heavily enough for you to wonder whether he has a problem, he probably does.
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Instructions
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Notice your partner's behavior surrounding alcohol. If she finishes other people's drinks, rewards herself for good work with alcohol, drinks to stay calm or drinks secretly or alone, consider these to be warning signs. She may also only drink expensive wine and liquor, in the belief that real alcoholics buy cheap booze.
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Pay attention to the way your partner talks about his drinking. If he sometimes wonders whether he drinks too much, has been to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous or jokes about his drinking, he instinctively knows that he has a problem but is not accepting it.
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Listen for excuses or denials. If your partner claims that she has not been drinking when you can see that she has, blames you or other people for her drinking, or expresses shame over having drunk too much, she may be an HFA.
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Keep track of when your partner drinks and how often he talks about alcohol. HFAs may drink in the mornings, plan how much they will drink later in the day, obsess about alcohol and become defensive when others comment on their drinking.
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Consider your partner's history. If she comes from a family of alcoholics, has sought treatment in the past, has tried to quit and failed, has DUIs on her record or has narrowly avoided serious consequences of drinking, take warning.
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Tips & Warnings
HFAs are compulsive drinkers, and eventually the signs of their addiction begin to show in their lives. If your partner is starting to have blackouts after drinking, miss work, fail to arrive places when you expect him or display unusual mood swings and aggression, he may be beginning a downward spiral.
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