How to Talk with People

Making conversation in social and business circumstances is a valuable people skill that can be acquired with practice. Learning how to talk with people easily is something anyone can do. Asking the right questions and then listening carefully to the answers can make you a master of the art of conversation.

Things You'll Need

• Desire to be better at conversation
• Friends and family to practice with

Instructions

1. Ask open-ended questions that other people can't answer with just "yes" or "no." Ask a person where he grew up and what it was like. Inquire what he does for a living and how he likes his job. Ask an individual where he lives and what he likes about the area. When talking with young adults, ask what subjects they liked best in school and why. Mastering questions on these basic issues make it easy to participate in a conversation.

2. Inquire about a person's interests, hobbies or activities or ask about favorite sports or authors. After you get an answer, extend the conversion by asking related questions. Ask her how she got into that and how long have she has been involved in it. Ask what she likes best about the topic and whether it is becoming more popular.

3. Keep a "conversation journal" where you write down things to say when you talk with people. These could be jokes, true and interesting stories, things you recently learned that others could benefit from knowing, comments on popular TV shows or high-interest news stories. These, along with your own ideas, when added to your journal on a daily basis, can keep you prepared to enter a conversation at any time.

4. Master five big topics to develop the art of conversation: family, work, interests, goals and school. Whenever you feel stuck in a conversation that has bogged down, ask about one of the "big five" topics. Avoid some topics with people unless you know them well: politics, religion, an illness of yours and sex.

5. Practice conversation topics. To help you talk with people more comfortably, practice with friends and family and note the feedback you receive. The more you practice the art of conversation, the more natural it becomes and the more comfortable you become doing it.

Tips & Warnings

• Focus on the person you are talking with and what is important to him.

• Listen closely to what people tell you.

• Learn to give genuine compliments to the individuals.

• If someone looks at you in a funny way after you ask a question, it may have been too personal. Forget it and ask a different question.

References

• ChangingMinds.org: Conversation Techniques
• Old And Sold: Business Conversation

Resources

• The Economist: The Art of Conversation - Chattering Classes
• ConversationStarters.com: 101 Conversation Starters
• The Positivity Blog: Do You Make These 10 Mistakes in a Conversation?; Henrik Edberg