How to Establish a Bedtime Routine for a Preschooler

By the time your child is preschool age, she craves stability and predictability. Well managed and enforced bedtime routines are the perfect way to prepare them for school, diminish morning fits and foster good sleeping habits. The only way to establish a routine is to jump in and create one. You can make minor changes as you progress, and you and your child discover what does and doesn't work for you.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Set the time. The bedtime routine should start as soon as you sit down for dinner. Serve dinner at the same time, every night, and apply a set duration (30 minutes, 45 minutes) to the meal. Even children who eat dinner at a family member or care giver's home can start at this time, as long as consistency is kept. If your spouse or partner comes home at varying times each evening, you must make sure they are not an integral part of the routine, but instead a guest appearance.

2. Provide clean up time. Use this time to teach your child responsibility. While you clean up the table and dishes, instruct your child to clean their room and pick out their PJs for the night. Once a routine has been established, 15 to 20 minutes for clean up should be adequate for most children. Before then, half done work should result in a mild reprimand. For example, do not let them choose their own PJs or temporarily take away a single toy that hasn't been put away.

3. Prepare him for bed. Have him brush his teeth, comb his hair and wash his face. Bed time baths are calming for most children and can prevent morning rushes. If you have multiple preschoolers, baths can yield a last minute way to squeeze in some one on one time. You can give each child your undivided attention by drying his hair, applying cream and helping him get ready for bed.

4. Tuck them in. Make it clear that the process of tucking in means that bedtime has come and she isn't to leave her bed again. Beforehand, it's important to offer use of the washroom one last time before bed. She must choose any special comfort items, such as stuffed animals or blankets, before she is tucked in.

5. Read, or tell, a story. Do not sit on your child's bed while you do this. You can read a chapter from a classic children's book or run through Dr Seuss (for the hundredth time since they were born). Don't rush through reading. Keep your voice steady, slow and measured to prevent over excitement.

6. Say good night. Having a special phrase that you say each night can create a pattern. Offer her the chance to say whatever is on her mind before instructing her that talking time is over. Kisses, hugs, I love yous and don't let the bed bugs bites should be exchanged all around before you leave the room.

7. Be firm. If he continues to jabber after you've stated talking time is over, return to the room and remind him. If he leaves his bed in favor of yours, return him to his room. For repeat offenders, consider punishments such as the loss of a stuffed animal or favorite toy. Do not sit on your child's bed or stand in their room until they fall asleep - this is exactly what they want.

8. Accept the stress. Many children adjust to a well scheduled bed time routine within a week. Some children may take less time (lucky you) while others can take much longer. If the routine you've created is ineffective, try to identify where things go wrong and switch things around. Maybe your child needs to clean up their toys before dinner, not after; bedtime baths may excite, rather than calm, her.

Tips & Warnings

• Bedtime routines should give your child a sense of independence and self-reliance. Snuggling up with your child, a blanket and a book before bed may seem rewarding, but it doesn't teach him to soothe himself to sleep.
• Never use long term punishments with preschoolers. Threats such as "you'll lose dessert tomorrow" are rarely effective, as by the time the punishment is in effect, they've forgotten what caused it.
• Once begun, avoid interrupting the routine at all costs. This can often lead to the extreme (personally, I've run through the bed time routine at my mother's house then carted the kids to the car once they were asleep). "Just one" off night may seem minor, but it can have disastrous consequences the next day.