How to Help an Alzheimer's Family

Alzheimer's disease affects millions of seniors, creating a taxing series of symptoms, such as stress, memory loss, dementia and mood swings. Families facing Alzheimer's often find themselves emotionally drained, short-handed and physically exhausted. Sometimes friends of families with an Alzheimer's patient become unsure of what to say or how to help. With an empathetic, common-sense approach, you can help ease the burden for Alzheimer's families.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Offer to relieve the caregiver. Give the caretaker a 30- or 60-minute break during which she can run for coffee, take a walk or take a nap.

2. Educate yourself. Read books on Alzheimer's caregiving, such as "The 36-Hour Day" by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins, patient relations such as "Learning to Speak Alzheimer's" by Joanne Koenig Coste and understanding Alzheimer mindsets with choices such as "Alzheimer's from the Inside Out" by Richard Taylor.

3. Invite family members to exercise with you. Suggest a game of tennis or a leisurely walk when they have time, as Alzheimer's caregivers sometimes focus on patient care over their own.

4. Ask to spend time with the patient. Take cues from the patient as to discussion topics and activity choices without pushing a set agenda. Speak clearly and face the patient when addressing him, introducing yourself and calling him by name. Opt for positive statements ("Tell me about your favorite singer") rather than negative statements ("Music today is not what it used to be").

5. Create a tribute fund page in honor of the patient at the Alzheimer's Association website (see Resources). Click the "Join the Cause" navigation button and click "Donate to the Alzheimer's Association" from the left sidebar. Click the link entitled, "Create your Tribute page now" and fill out the short form to generate a fund-raising effort in honor of the patient.

6. Offer moral support. Send simple encouragement cards to the residence every week. Call the caregiver and listen to any troubles he might be having. Let the family know that you appreciate their dedication and work on behalf of the patient.

7. Be flexible. Families facing Alzheimer's have packed and extended schedules. Offer alternative times and ways for them to reach you in case they wish to talk or need something, as they may not be available at the moment you get in touch.

Tips & Warnings

• Ask families what they specifically need most and check in frequently, as medical situations change as the disease progresses. Rephrase questions that are not understood by Alzheimer's patients rather than repeating them or increasing your volume. If your conversation attempts with Alzheimer's patients are not successful, wait and try to engage them again later.
• Never offer unsolicited advice to families facing Alzheimer's; rather ask first if they would like input or ideas. Never talk down to an Alzheimer's patient.

References

• Alzheimer's Association Website
• How to Handle a Friend's Recent Alzheimer's Diagnosis by Rosanne DiStefano; The Eagle Tribune; 2008

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