How to Help A Newly Adopted Child Adjust

Adopting a child is a huge adjustment for not only the child but for all members of the family. Here are some straight-forward tips for helping your child adjust to their new home and attach to you while minimizing the stress level for all involved.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Do not have a large party meet you at the airport. This can be overwhelming and scary for a child who may be sleep deprived and off schedule and who has just left everything they knew to be greeted by a large group of excited people.

2. Hole up at home for a few weeks. Minimize the number of places you have to go while you and your child adjust to each other and the child becomes secure in their new surroundings. Too much newness at once can be over stimulating and scary.

3. Limit the amount of people you have come over to your home. This is difficult because relatives and friends will want to meet your child but explain to them ahead of time the importance of having time for just your family at first while you all get used to each other to avoid hurt feelings. Your child will need to attach to you as the parents and having too many people around initially can impede the attachment process.

4. If you have a baby, try to carry or "wear" your baby with a sling as much as possible. This close contact helps the baby adjust to their primary caregiver.

5. For younger children, even if you think they are a little too old for a bottle, offer them one. Bottle feeding allows for a great deal of bonding while parent and child look into each other's eyes and make the connections that are usually made in infancy.

6. Limit the amount of new "stuff" you give your child. Too many toys, clothes, games, etc can be overwhelming for a child who is not used to having so much and not used to having choices as to what to wear or play with. Limit choices and the amount of things around them for a while and slowly introduce more as they are ready to handle it.

7. Make sure that all personal care such as feeding, bathing, dressing, putting band aids on boo boos, etc comes from the parents. Your child may have some internal confusion about who the parents are and having multiple people meeting their physical needs can further confuse them and impede the bonding process.

[leduncan]

on 9/12/2009 Great article on adopting kids! Found you through redgauge.