How to Deescalate your Toddlers Tantrum

Temper tantrums are a part of life. The effect in which they have or number of occurrences is something which can be controlled. The following steps provide tools for managing a situation before it becomes out of control.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Determine your reaction to the tantrum at the onset of the first indicator. Jump into action with a firm response. Being mean or yelling is not necessary but will actually serve to escalate a situation further. Once you have determined reaction you need to remain consistent. Wavering is cause for the child to continue. If you say something stick with it. Children will not recall later that ninety-nine times no meant no. A child will remember that one time when you caved and push for that again.

2. Maintain an understanding of what triggers your toddlers temper tantrums. Times of transition are a huge trigger for many children. Preparation for events will assist your child in coping with times of change. Give your child insight as to a change occurring. An example of this is to say, "In fifteen minutes we will clean up the play doh for dinner." This allows your child to know the future event is coming and prepare for it. Giving reminders in five minute increments helps them to remember and keep yourself on track also. This tool can be applied to any situation.

3. At the onset of a temper tantrum one of your best defenses is to ignore the behavior. Giving attention to the situation or the behavior is comparable to oxygen with fire. Temper tantrums are no fun if there isn't someone to notice all the effort being given. Remember that children have a short attention span. Something will usually grab their interest and the situation will pass.

4. Use humor as a natural deterrent. It is incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to stay mad when smiling. Use this to your advantage. When a situation appears to be heading in a undesirable direction turn it around by a funny face contest, suggest skipping or simply talk about a recent fun time experienced. Children live in the moment. Be proactive and use distraction as a positive method to change the situation.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't be embarrassed. Remember anyone who has kids has been in your shoes. As for those who have not, they don't know what they are missing.
• Know your own limits. Give yourself a time out once in a while when you begin to feel overwhelmed.

[makaksa]

on 11/23/2009 Nice article on calming a toddler's tantrum.

[evgnspaces]

on 10/8/2009 Distracting toddlers can help avoid a temper tantrum and avoiding situations that trigger them.

[e-Rambler]

on 10/7/2009 Toddlers acting up is no fun! I like your Step 3 idea... don't feed the fire, thanks for that insight.

[explainitplease]

on 9/22/2009 Wonderful helpful tips! Good job.

[pnstlion]

on 9/17/2009 Excellent job on this. I always thought "my" kid would never do "those" things but guess what, he's two and does what other two-year olds do!