How to Get Your Children to Listen Without Yelling or Spanking

Discipline is not what it used to be. Many parents are struggling to gain control of their children at an early age. I found myself having the same difficulties. I tried everything from time-outs to spanking and nothing was working. One night I was talking to my husband about some of the things my mother used to do with me when I was in trouble and this simple idea came to mind.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Large Jar
• Paper
• Pen

1. First thing you need to do is sit down and make a list of things that your child loves to play with or places they like to go. Write down each of these things, even write down special things you do with them. For instance we have movie nights on every Friday where we blow up the air mattress, pop popcorn, make milkshakes and turn out the lights for a movie.

2. Now cut up some paper into cards or even use index cards. The index cards might last longer. On each card write down one thing from your list. You might have things like, video games, telephone, computer, craft stuff, favorite shows, eating at Mc. Donald's, no friends over, etc. Place the cards into a large jar, we use a pickle jar.

3. Now you need to hold a family meeting and talk with your children about what will happen if they don't do what they are told, if they back talk, fighting, and whatever else most children get into trouble for. Explain to them that when they get into trouble one of these privileges is going to get taken away. You may want to also write on the cards how many days this privilege will be taken for. They will need to stay out of trouble or do chores to earn their privileges back, or you can just set a certain amount of days for them to be grounded. I like to make my children earn their things back because they seem to respond better afterwards.

4. When your child gets into trouble have them go to the jar and pull a card. Whatever they pull that what they lose for whatever time you have chosen. Both parents will need to agree on this, and you will need to stick with this. You cannot give in just because you have a good day. Your children will not learn if you are not consistent.

5. I have found that it is better to sit down with your child when they are getting something taken away. Explain to them exactly why they are getting it taken away. Explain to them that if they continue to get into trouble, they will continue to get things taken away. Don't yell and scream at the child, get down on their level, eye to eye and have parent to child talk. It may not work the first time but over time it will.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient with this, it will work if you stay consistent with it.
• I'm not a parent who doesn't believe in spanking, but you must pick your battles. A child doesn't deserve to be spanked for fighting with a younger sibling. Minor things deserve minor consequences. Major things deserve major consequences like spanking.
• BE CONSISTENT!

[ceholmes]

on 8/11/2009 good system that would actually work! 5*

[stlscientist]

on 7/30/2009 Wish this would have come out before I was raised with the switch, belt, fly swatter, ping pong paddle, hand, spatula... haha I think I turned out pretty good!