How to Use Mediation to Resolve Conflicts

Mediation is a process—a course of action that if followed will help resolve conflicts between disputing parties. It is particularly successful in prevention and damage control. Mediation for prevention helps disputing parties avoid escalating their conflict to higher levels. Getting management and union representatives to negotiate a settlement to avoid a strike is one example of this type of mediation. Mediation for damage control is useful in getting disputing parties in highly charged conflict incidences to agree on a solution once emotions have eased. Although mediation tends to be viewed as a way to keep people out of court or something done to resolve labor conflicts, it is actually quite simple. The average person frequently mediates disputes without realizing it. Whenever you intervene to help friends or family members mend broken relationships, you are using mediation to resolve conflicts. Here are the steps you should take.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Choose a neutral place for the mediation session and a time that’s convenient for the disputing parties. The session should be at the most two hours. If it looks as if it will be longer, schedule another two-hour session.

2. Begin the session with an explanation of the mediation process and a description of what will happen during the two hours.

3. Give each disputing party uninterrupted time to share their side of the story. Everyone else should listen and not butt in while the facts relevant to the situation are shared.

4. After both parties have taken a turn speaking, begin the discussion phase. This is the time for asking questions, presenting arguments, disputing the facts, making demands and explaining why they are upset. The discussion phase should focus on the reason why they are there for mediation and ensure that each party is heard and protected.

5. If needed, call a time out for individual meetings with each party, especially if the discussion begins to deteriorate and the dispute looks like it is going to escalate. Individual meetings can be used to confront unacceptable behavior and help each person think through the options.

6. Reconvene the session and work towards agreement on the issues that need resolution. These issues will be at the heart of the conflict—not necessarily everything that was shared by the disputing parties in step 4.

7. Work through each agreed upon issue one at a time. Consider brainstorming or other ways to generate ideas to resolve the issue. Assess solutions until there is one that is agreeable to all parties. Do this for each issue agreed upon in step 6.

8. Record the agreements in a formal written document. Have all the parties sign it and take a copy. Summarize what has been accomplished and reiterate the next steps as written in the mediation agreement.

Tips & Warnings

• Two mediators are better than one, especially for individual meetings. Also, disputing parties tend to perceive more objectivity to the mediation process when there are two mediators.
• The role of the mediator is not to solve the problem or generate ideas for resolution. It is the disputing parties’ responsibility to work out mutually acceptable solutions.

Resources

• 31 Ways to Make Your Work Relationships Succeed