How to Win Child Custody

Child custody cases are common in divorce proceedings. Seldom do both parents agree completely when it comes to issues regarding the children and who will be the custodial parent and who will just have visitation time. This is a touchy issue which can have a huge effect on many family members. If you find yourself in the unfortunate circumstance of fighting for custody of minor children, there are certain important issues you must be willing to deal with.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Be honest with yourself. You want custody of the kids, but are you absolutely certain it is for the good of the kids or just because you want to come out a winner, or even because you want to get revenge on your spouse? Do you know that you will be the best parent and that the children will be better off in your custody? Too much is at stake to undertake a custody battle without considering the answers to these types of questions. Being a single parent can be very difficult. Be sure you are willing to do what it takes to provide the best possible family unit for your children.

2. Consider the effect the custody battle will have on the children. Be proactive in creating an atmosphere of calm security for them during this time. This is not easy during the emotional roller coaster you may be experiencing. Express your feelings of fear and anger to friends, a spiritual counselor or a therapist instead of with the children. Do not speak negatively of the other parent in their presence. Also, do not attempt to involve them in the custody battle in any way. Your responsibility to them during this time is one of damage control. Listen to them and react in ways that will reassure them and minimize their pain.

3. Prepare to prove to the court that you are the best parent to raise the children. Be ready to show documentation supporting your side of the custody argument. Create a detailed record of your past parental involvement. Old calendars and daily planners can help jog your memory. Write down the times you took the children to dentist appointments, play dates, camping trips and parent/teacher conferences. Focus on the level of your past involvement in their lives. Did you coach a little league team, help with a school play or organize the preschool parties? Create a detailed chronological record for the court.

4. Organize a list of witnesses who can testify regarding your parenting skills. These individuals should be able to give factual detailed information about specific instances. Have them write out the facts and sign the documents in front of a notary public. These witnesses should also be willing to appear and testify in court regarding their knowledge of the family situation.

5. Document any reason the other parent would not be the best custodial parent. Keep your list factual. Things you might include are detrimental work schedules, previous arrests or convictions, history of drug or alcohol abuse, mental illness, domestic abuse, or inappropriate activities. The best way to present these is with factual evidence, but credible witnesses may also prove helpful in this area.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that situations continually change. You may not initially be awarded custody of your children. However, continue to keep detailed records of everything pertaining to the children. You will likely have the chance to present this evidence at a future hearing. If you can show the court that there has been a change in circumstances, you will be allowed to present evidence to the court establishing your ability to be a better custodial parent to your children.
• Most courts now require parents to attend mandatory mediation sessions for divorces involving minor children. Many issues can be resolved in this type of setting. However, mediation can be very stressful and you should be aware that you may feel pressured to consent to something you may regret later. Child custody issues should not be taken lightly. An experienced attorney can be worth the expense when it comes to fighting for custody of minor children.

References

• Divorce and Child Custody
• Custody Proceedings

Resources

• Specific State Laws Regarding Divorce and Custody

[brokemomma]

on 7/30/2009 Great Article! I am going through this now and can use all the advise I can get