How to Improve Your Child's Bad Manners

Here are a few tips on how to improve your child's bad manners without it turning into a screamfest.

Things You'll Need

• Patience

Instructions

1. Model With Your Own Behavior

   Because children so often duplicate what they see you doing, the first thing you need to do is check your own manners. Do you remember to say please, thank you and excuse me to your children? While we are usually on our best behavior when it comes to dealing with adults and strangers, too often we don't use manners when we directly address our own children. Be sure that you treat your child to the same manners that you would use with anyone else so they are getting a constant dose of good behavior to copy.

2. Do not let anyone encourage the behavior.

   Make sure that no one is laughing when your child displays bad manners because your child will mistakenly see bad manners as a source of humor.

3. Teach - Don't Yell

   Calm and constant reinforcement works better than screaming reprimands. Instead of yelling something like "Don't be disgusting!" when your child burps at the table, explain the behavior and the remedy calmly such as "It is not polite to belch at the table and if you do, you need to say "excuse me". This way you are demonstrating your own good manners by not embarrassing and shouting at your child in public.

4. If They Are Doing It For Attention Refuse To Give It

   Sometimes children will use bad manners to show off or simply to push your buttons for attention. Refuse to acknowledge it. Turn your back and walk away or turn and focus on something else. When the moment has passed and you are both calmer, you can then reinforce that the behavior is not acceptable and what the correct behavior is. After awhile they will find they can no longer use this as a tool to get a reaction from you.

5. Correct Them in a Different Way

   Instead of using the old tired line "What do you say?" when a child is expected to say please or thank you, tell them exactly what you expect of them. Such as "When someone gives you something it is polite for you say Thank you." This kind of message will stay with them longer as opposed to them feeling "nagged" all the time and giving a huge sigh along with the appropriate word like it is being forced out of them.

6. Reinforce Positive Behavior

   There is nothing that will work faster than constant positive reinforcement. If you hear your child say please, thank you or excuse me on their own, tell them how proud you are of them. They will glow with pride that you noticed and be more willing to do it in the future

Tips & Warnings

• Above all be patient.