How to Not Have a Victim Mentality

Every day we face the effects of events that are beyond our control. For example, the company you work for changes procedures, a driver swipes your car in the parking lot and the elevator in your apartment building breaks down. As we experience these circumstances, little by little, they tear away at our self-confidence and hope. It opens the door for us to feel helpless and angry. We begin to feel that we cannot make the desired change in our lives because of other people, situations, circumstances or for some reason we cannot define. We may find ourselves with a negative attitude blaming everyone or others for what happens to us. We may also begin to believe like Schleprock that the future only holds bad things.
This article will address the steps you will need to go through to not have a victim mentality.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• self-confidence
• positive attitude

1. Accept the fact that things can and will happen that we cannot control. Just a month ago, I experienced home burglary. It was completely unexpected and I felt so angry that someone would invade my home. I had to accept the fact that it happened.

2. Deal with the unexpected situation. You always have a choice in life when things happen. You can choose to do something or do nothing. Find the best choice of the options available to you even if its something you don't want to do.

3. Stay positive. Don't allow yourself to wallow in self-pity or constantly think "why me?" See this dilemma or challenge as an opportunity to learn something. What can I do to make my situation better or prevent this from happening again?

4. Accept responsibility for your own actions/choices. Don't blame others for your mistakes. Do you give them credit for your accomplishments?
   Example: the procedure change requires additional paperwork to be completed. You still have several forms to complete. You are mad that coworkers are going home early while you may end up staying late. You didn't notify your supervisor or coworkers you needed assistance.

Tips & Warnings

• Your outlook and choices impact the outcome of your situation.
• Focus on the things you can control in the situation.
• To stay positive may mean you need to forgive others as well as yourself.
• If you need assistance, don't expect others to know! Ask.
• A negative attitude can make your situation worse!
• Be selective about advice you take in regards to your situation. What works for others may not work for you.

Resources

• Curbing the Victim Mentality
• Warnings signs You Might Have a Victim Mentality
• Elimnating Our Own Victim Mentality
• How a Victim Mentality Makes You Remain in the Hurtful Past

[raysolution]

on 2/3/2010 you were brave. always find the good in the bad.

[purehealth]

on 10/17/2009 I love this practical advise. Thank you. Five stars. We all need these reminders in this world.

[writinghigh]

on 10/13/2009 Great article. A positive attitude is always key.

[surly-mac]

on 8/24/2009 Thanks for well written advice on how to not have a victim mentality - and it's all YOUR fault! Good article.

[crosswised]

on 8/4/2009 Very good subject and writing! Rated 5 and Recommended.