Things You'll Need:
- Harness
- Strap-on dildo
- Water-based lubricant
- Condom (optional)
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Step 1
Make sure you are wearing the strap-on properly. Try it on before you actually engage in sex with your partner. The base of the dildo should press down against the top of the vagina and not on the opening. It should rest just below the pubic bone. If the dildo has testicles, they should press against the clitoris and may press down near the opening. Make sure the harness is snug against your body. If you are using boxers as a harness, be sure they are tight and pulled up far enough so the dildo does not slip out or move easily from side to side.
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Step 2
Once you begin to engage in sexual acts with your partner, have her stroke the dildo as you would a male penis. Ask her to press or push the dildo down against your body a bit so you can feel it rub against the clitoris. She may also perform oral sex on the dildo. This will help you get more in touch with the strap-on and experience how it feels against your body.
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Step 3
Make sure your partner is aroused before inserting the strap-on into her vagina or anus. You can perform oral sex on her and use your fingers to help get things going. After some foreplay, apply a silver dollar sized amount of a water-based lubricant into your partner's vagina and/or anus. Strap-on dildos absorb lubricating fluids, so be sure to apply it even if your partner is already aroused.
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Step 4
Consider using a condom. A condom should be used on a strap-on if you are using it with more than one sexual partner or if you have not been able to properly clean and sterilize it. Doing this can prevent your partner from getting an infection. Some people also prefer the feeling of the dildo with a condom. If you choose to use a condom, find one with water-based lubricant and without spermicide. To put on the condom, open the condom wrapper with your fingers, take the condom out and roll it down onto the dildo.
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Step 5
Once you are ready for intercourse, consider starting with a missionary position. With you on top, you will be able to get a feel for how the strap-on feels in the vagina and you will be able to see it. You may want to hold your partners legs up on your shoulders so you can get a better view. Your partner can also get on top of you and straddle your waist. She can then put the dildo into her vagina and you can get a feel for the strap-on that way. You can also do this with anal sex, though you may want to try vaginal sex first. It is generally easier to insert the dildo into the vagina than into the anus.
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Step 6
Once you get a feel for the strap-on, try more difficult positions. Many people enjoy penetrating their partner from behind while she is on her hands and knees or standing. With these positions, it is often easier for the receiving partner to put the dildo into her body first. Once she indicates that it is inside her, hold the dildo at the base where it is attached to the harness. Gently move the strap-on in and out of your partner to get a feel for the strap-on. Once you get the hang of it, you can then increase the pace and let go of the base of the dildo. Gradually, you will build an instinctive feel for where the strap-on is.
