How to Acquire Listening Skills
"Listen twice as much as you speak" is an old proverb passed down from generation to generation. Hearing the words coming out of someone's mouth is the basic level of listening; being able to understand and comprehend those words and have the speaker acknowledge that ability is a skill. By having these skills, you could improve your overall communication with co-workers, teachers and even loved ones.
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Instructions
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Eliminate any distractions like telephones, background noise and even other people. Clear your schedule and put a set amount of time aside to listen to the person. Consult the speaker on how much time he needs versus how much you have. This will help keep the speaker focused, which will help you learn how to listen better.
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Practice basic listening by talking to children, especially kids under 8 years old. Kids speak in very basic terms and are direct with their thoughts. They can tell stories to you that are sometimes out of sequential order. Try to remember all of the words they said and help them sort the story. This will prime you for listening to adults.
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Do the same in Step 2 with adults, except do the sorting in your mind. In fact, don't say a word. You can even open up the door by asking an open-ended question like, how was your day. Even if the speaker is emotional at the beginning, allow him to vent; eventually, what he means to say will come out.
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Make eye contact with whoever is speaking. Your eyes should convey an emotion of relaxed and attentive at the same time. Glaring at the speaker could cause him to fumble his words or become defensive, while staring like a hungry dog could become unnerving. Just maintain basic eye contact.
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Keep a short mental list of what the person's main points or questions were as soon as they are spoken. These key thoughts will probably drive the rest of the words that come out of his mouth as well. By having a mental outline, you can allow the speaker to fill in the blanks.
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Repeat the main points and the order of events to the speaker when he is done. He can instantly tell you if your skills need improvement or if you are on your way to success.
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Tips & Warnings
Don't take it personally if your listening skills take a while to develop. Just keep practicing. People can tell when you are trying your best. Try not to become too emotionally involved in the words that come out during conflict; focus on the intent and meaning.
