How to Discipline your Teen without Destroying your Relationship

Discipline, Teen, and Relationship

What comes to mind when you think about raising a teen. Possible several things like, slamming doors, screaming, raging hormones, misunderstanding, curfews just to name a few. Wouldn't it be nicer if some of the first thoughts that came to mind were more positive. It is a delicate balance of authority and love when raising young ones but this balance is more delicate when dealing when teens. I have 2 teens, boy 14, and daughter 13, so you can see, I find all the help I can get when dealing with teen issues. Here, I am posting some what I have learned to preserve my relationship with them.

Things You'll Need

• Ability to control your emotions with your teen
• Ability to listen without prejudging your teen
• Respect for your teen

Instructions

1. 

   BEING CONSISTENT: While being consistent is very important for all ages, it is especially important for teens. Feeling of frustrations arise if one day a behavior is acceptable and the next day it's not. By establishing specific rules with consequences, sets up a "real world" view for teens, and also provides security and direction.

2. 

   LISTEN: One simple word, but extremely hard for some parents to do. If you don't listen to your teens, they feel as if their opinions doesn't have any value. Even when they're disagreeing with you, give them some respect and listen anyway. If you want respect, then you should show respect. And if you want to be heard, then you should listen. By listening, it teaches glide lines of how to express argumentative ideas without being ugly or behaving inappropriately.

3. 

   PUNSHING IN ANGER: Some parents wait until they have reached their breaking point, before they implement any type of discipline action. By doing so, this allows the teens behavior to go on for awhile before suffering any consequence. Being consistent in your parenting, can prevent this from happening. If you lose your patience then step away from the situation, before acting out. You don't want to become abusive! Consistent parenting can eliminate confusion and ultimately open communication in the relationship.

4. 

   PUNISHMENT MATCHES WRONGDOING: Make sure the punishment your giving to your teen is relevant to what they did wrong. Example maybe: Your teen stayed out passed curfew, then you would limit his outings at night temporarily. You don't want to appear that you're just trying to be spiteful otherwise, this does put a damper on your relationship.

5. 

   REASON WITH YOUR TEEN: A lot of parents try to use guilt as a form of discipline. They're trying to get an immediate response, but this does more damage then good. Your teen will have to deal with these issues as they become adults. By reasoning with them, you're providing a bases for your expectations and they'll understand the consequences better.

6. 

   BE A PARENT RATHER THAN A FRIEND: A teen needs boundaries and security only a parent can provide. They have already many friends and social events to entertain them, but only 1 (set of) parent(s). No matter how it may appear now, teens do not respect their parents acting like teens themselves and will probably not be close to you when they become adults.

7. 

   ATTACK THE BEHAVIOR, NOT THE TEEN: Make all your comments and remarks toward the bad behavior and not the teen. They need to know you love them no matter what they do, and even more that you love them enough not to let them hurt themselves or others.

8. 

   DON'T BECOME THE ENEMY: Sure you may feel like the enemy and they may view you as one also, but your the only one who must stay consistent in their lives. To have authority over a teen, can be hard, but remember you are the only parent they have and it's your job to provide them with order and security.

9. 

   HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: It isn't funny when you have to clean up after your teen messes up, but it won't help to lose you sense of humor either. It might not be funny at the time, but most situations can eventually be viewed in a comical manner later.

10. 

    ALLOW YOUR TEEN TO FAIL: Some of life's greatest lesson's come from failing. Parents who manage every details of their teens life prevent their teen from learning life skills. As much as you don't want to discipline your teen, letting them fail and then live with the consequences can teach them MORE than you choosing a punishment.

Tips & Warnings

• Teens deal with so many issues outside the home, that having a stable, established home life makes all the difference.