How to Select a Wedding Dress for a Second Marriage

You may have said "I do" to the big white dress the first time around, but as an encore bride, you can wow the crowd in a shimmery pink cocktail dress or knock ‘em dead in a vermillion column -- the choice is yours, says fashion expert Adam Glassman, in the May 2009 issue of “O, The Oprah Magazine.” And if you truly have your heart set on wearing white, few will begrudge you a traditional wedding day do-over. Because the beauty of a second wedding is that it’s not about finding the perfect white dress: it’s about finding the dress that is just right for you.

Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Notebook
• Scissors
• Pen

1. Take a stand on the white dress. Just because there are no hard and fast rules about wearing white to your second wedding, doesn’t mean it’s not an issue. Taking a stand either for or against the traditional white dress will go a long way toward helping you decide what you want. If you want a white dress, go for it. Otherwise, choose a color you love that will flatter your skin tone.

2. Create a wedding gown wish-list/scrapbook. Flip through bridal and fashion magazines to find looks that appeal to you. Don’t let yourself fall in love with a particular dress at this stage; according to Pamela Hill Nettleton in her book, “Getting Married When It’s Not the First Time: An Etiquette Guide and Wedding Planner,” many of the dresses you see in bridal magazines are designer composites that are not for sale. Instead, focus on details such as a hemline, neckline or fabric. When you see something you like, clip the photo and slip it into your notebook.

3. Jot down the styles and colors that work best on your body type and include these in your scrapbook. As a second time bride, free to choose most any dress you please, your primary concern should be finding something that highlights your best features and flatters your figure in an age-appropriate way.

4. Hit the bridal boutiques to try on some dresses. Even if you’ve decided to forego white, with almost every imaginable cut and style of dress on display, bridal boutiques are a good place to start your search. Be open to trying on as many different styles of dress as possible and keep that notebook handy -- you’ll want to take detailed notes as you go to help narrow down the elements you really want to include in your dress.

5. Look over your clippings and notes and create a list of the styles and cuts that best reflect how you want to look on your special day. If you're having an elaborate wedding, the dress can reflect that. If you're going for a more casual ceremony, a tasteful, simpler dress may be the way to go. Think about what you liked and didn’t like about the dresses you tried on, listing as many specifics as possible. Remember: the more defined your ideas are at this point, the easier it will be for you to recognize that perfect dress in the store.

6. Revisit the stores to make your final selection. While you may not find all the elements in your wish list come together in a single dress, you should be able to come pretty close.

Tips & Warnings

• Don’t get so carried away with an image of the perfect dress that you forget the overall look and tone of the wedding. An overly elaborate ball gown with a 10 foot train might be perfect for the church or country club, but it’s much too fussy for the average backyard wedding.

• While it’s true that you can wear almost anything under the sun as an encore bride, there’s one thing you absolutely must not wear: your first wedding dress. This new union deserves its own memories; it doesn't need to borrow from your past relationships.

References

• O, The Oprah Magazine: Wedding Fashion I Dos and Don’t’s
• Emily Post: Inside Weddings: Wedding Attire
• Getting Married When It’s Not Your First Time: An Etiquette Guide and Wedding Planner; Pamela Hill Nettleton
• I Do Take Two: Guide to Second Weddings, Second Marriages and Vow Renewals: Second Wedding Dress: Choosing Dresses for a Second Wedding or Marriage