How to Discipline a Violent Child

Taco roll for sensory stimulation

Dealing with a violent child can be frightening for the adult involved for several reasons, and administering discipline is challenging. You may fear for the safety of the violent child or for the safety of those nearby, including yourself. Quick action may be necessary during violent episodes to prevent serious injury or damage. If you are parenting a violent child, or a violent child is frequently in your care, seek professional training before attempting physical restraints. If the violent child is not your child, know policies before taking any physical action yourself.

Things You'll Need

• Two or more people
• Telephone

Instructions

1. 

   Call for help immediately before confronting a violent child and attempting discipline. Help may be your in-home therapist, your spouse, older children, other employees or the police. If the disciplinary process goes badly, you will have help on the way.

2. Acknowledge the child's anger and validate the feelings to try to get the child talking to diffuse the anger.

3. Ask the child to go to the quiet or safe room if you have established one. If you do not have a safe area, and your child frequently becomes angry, then you need to make one. A safe room may be a large closet, an empty bedroom or other area that has stuffed animals, a journal and possibly pillows so the child cannot get hurt while diffusing the violence.

4. Offer to roll your child in a blanket if your child benefits from this type of sensory input. Never cover the child's head, neck or shoulders, and do not leave the child unattended for even a second. If your child prefers brushing and you have a sensory brush, try brushing to calm the child.

5. Have the child transported to the emergency room if you cannot calm the child, and request admission for a medicine check or suicide prevention to a psychiatric hospital. If the child has damaged property or injured someone, ask the police to try to admit the child to the county juvenile home until a hearing can be held.

6. Give the child extra chores to earn money so that any damages can be repaid. Privileges such as phone and computer time should be curtailed until retribution is made.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk to your child when the rage has subsided. Enroll your child in an anger-management class. Consider random drug screens if you feel the violence may be substance-abuse related.

• Use caution, as excessive force may result in legal action against you. Restraints should be used as a last resort to prevent injury to the child or other family members. They should only be used until the child is no longer a threat, or until the police, or emergency workers arrive. Only use restraints if a person has been trained in using restraints and CPR. Monitor the child during the restraint and let the child loose immediately if you notice breathing difficulty.

References

• http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/99/3/497

Resources

• Why Would You Hold or Restrain a Child
• What Can't Foster Parents Use Corporal Punishment
• No Other Choice but Long Term Residential Treatment
• I Survive, a website for abuse survivors