How to Gain Trust Again
Once your trust is betrayed, you may feel that you can never regain trust in that person. According to social worker Terry Mizrahi in "Psychology Today," trust is at the center of any relationship and the wrongdoer must first acknowledge the pain he has inflicted before trust can be rebuilt. Trusting can be risky emotionally, but once trust is gained or regained, it can become the foundation for a successful relationship.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Trust yourself first of all. Once your trust has been broken, your defenses are high. Re-evaluate your relationship and use your instincts to rebuild trust within yourself before thinking about the betrayer.
-
2
Grieve and let your emotions come to the surface. According to LifeScript, a website on women's health, when you lose your trust in someone you love, you may feel all the same stages of emotion as you would when a loved one dies. It's normal to be in denial, become angry, feel depressed and finally accept the betrayal.
-
-
3
Remove the label of "victim" from yourself. You were betrayed, but if you continually think all bad things happen to you, you stifle the ability to heal from this wrong. You may end up more angry and blaming everyone else in your life.
-
4
Look at everything you have now and be thankful for it. When you are severely betrayed, such as being cheated on, the whole world feels lost. Yet you need to change the way in which you see things to be happy for what you do have in life. Positive thinking helps a lot when you lose your trust.
-
5
Change yourself. You may have a jealous personality or be overly sensitive. Re-examine what you could have done differently. Both parties should learn from the betrayal and mistakes to change for the better.
-
6
Forgive the wrongdoer. You must forgive to regain trust. Also agree to changes from both ends. Both people may have contributed to the betrayal, and both must change for the relationship to move on.
-
7
Live one day at a time. Going through a betrayal and accepting it is a huge step forward toward gaining trust again. However, you may fall back and experience insecurity. All these responses are normal, and manageable if you take each day as it comes.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Your hurt does not heal instantly. It may take a long time to regain your trust.
Try not to police or control the wrongdoer after the betrayal. It will not help in regaining trust.
It's OK not to trust some people.
If the wrongdoer continues to betray you, you may need to end the relationship.
References
Resources
- Read this Article in Spanish
- "The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships"; Cynthia L. Wall; 2005
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/BananaStock/Getty Images
