How to Teach a Child Self-Discipline
Parents want to have well-disciplined children who behave well in public. You can help your child develop the necessary self-control to handle situations in public; in the store, when she doesn't get what she wants right away; on the playground when she can't get a swing or at a nice restaurant, when you want her to behave, keep herself occupied and eat the meal you've ordered for her.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Remember that toddlers are egocentric -- they believe the world revolves around them and their desires. Each time your child experiences a frustrating moment with a tantrum, isolate her with a time-out -- 1 minute for each year of her age. Teach her that there are consequences for poor behavior and a time-out is that consequence.
-
2
Use time-outs as your child grows older -- keep her in time-out until she has calmed down -- for children 3 to 5 years of age, this can be an effective way of learning self-control. "Catch" her being good and controlling herself in moments where she used to experience an emotional meltdown.
-
-
3
Help your 6- to 9-year-old use visualization when she feels close to losing control. Help her to come up with some mental picture that will help her regain a sense of calm. Express to her that she can make choices between good and poor behavior -- never accuse her of being "bad"; isolate the behavior as undesirable. Suggest she walk away until she is able to gain control of herself.
-
4
Discuss options with your 10- to 12-year-old child and teach her how to think about what she does when she loses control. Teach her to analyze situations that cause her to lose self-control and show her how to think a situation through rather than simply reacting.
-
5
Take time to discuss consequences with your 13- to 17-year-old. At this age, she is capable of conceptualizing long-term consequences. Help her get to know herself and her reactions in situations where she becomes upset -- if necessary, encourage her to walk away rather than blow up. If she does blow up, give her a consequence by removing a favorite privilege.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Parents escalate emotionally when their children escalate. Try not to yell when your child loses control. Show your child how to use self control; when you find yourself in a situation where you might lose self control, remember to model self-control, no matter how tempting it may be to do otherwise.
If your child is in the middle of a tantrum, don't attempt to stop the tantrum with physical discipline. You run the risk of losing control yourself and going too far with the discipline.
