How to Move On From a Broken Engagement

Having recently suffered my own broken engagement, I know first hand it can be a very difficult and trying time in your life. Here's a few tips that I hope will help others pick up the pieces and move on, as hard as it is.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Support from your family and friends
• Journal
• Tissues
• Self-Help Relationship and Grief Books
• Time

1. If a broken engagement is not mutual, there will be a lot of hurt, anger, and fear. First and foremost, return the ring. It is the right thing to do and you'll feel better for doing it. Of course, if the ring is a family heirloom or if you paid for part of it, you will want to discuss the situation with your partner as to who will take ownership of the ring.

2. Next, take some time away from your partner. When living in the same house, it can be especially emotional. Go to a friend or family member's house. Once the engagement is broken there is no sense in living under the same roof. You will not magically repair what is now broken. The time apart will give you some time to process the curve ball that has just been thrown at you.

3. If you are very close to the time of your wedding, recruit friends and family members to "unplan" your wedding. Be aware, you may not get deposits back as many vendors require a certain amount of notice. Wedding guests should be also notified and any gifts (either wedding or engagement gifts) should also be returned with a kind note thinking the gift giver and explaining that the wedding is no longer taking place.

4. Take time for yourself. Go to the spa, eat well, do things that you love to do. Pamper yourself, take your dog for a walk, go shopping with a good friend. Try not to think about the whirlwind you've been swept up in.

5. Don't feel like you have to explain why your engagement is off to everyone, and trust me, they will ask. I politely told everyone we had decided it just wasn't the right time. I shared the close details only with those very close to me.

6. Try to remember that life will go on. Each day is a new day and find something happy in each day to be happy about. You aren't the only one who has gone through this, and unfortunately, you won't be the last. Someday, you will probably help someone else going through the same thing.

Tips & Warnings

• Lean on family and friends. They're there for you!
• Check out grief books from the library, or books on relationships. There are tons of them out there.
• If you feel like you want to, keep communication lines with your ex-fiance open. Many couples work out their problems and do end up getting married in the end.
• If you are feeling seriously depressed, definitely see a doctor. They can help you with your feelings or suggest a counselor
• Don't start dating again before you're sure you're ready. That can lead to even more trouble and hurt feelings.