How to Breakup With Someone Without Looking Like A Jerk

Almost everyone on Earth wants to find that special someone. However, this is not an easy task. Many times, you figure out that the person that you are currently with is just not the right person for you. At this point, you have no choice but to end the relationship. No matter how you do this, someone’s feelings may be hurt. However, there is no need to exacerbate the suffering. This article will give you, the breaker, some helpful tips to avoid hurting someone needlessly in a breakup…and looking like a complete jerk in the process.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Whenever possible, avoid the use of phones. Sometimes, you may have to breakup over long distances. If that’s the case, you don’t really have any other alternative other than to fly in to deliver the message in person. In this case, the phone is an acceptable substitute. However, if the person lives within driving distance and is not a danger to you, you should settle things face-to-face. Settling things in person makes the other person feel like you are actually facing them and simply giving them the “brush-off.” The ban on phones includes sending text, fax or email messages. Nothing says “your feelings don’t mean that much to me” like getting a breakup text message.

2. Be mindful of the words that you use. Walking up to your partner and saying “It’s not me, it’s you” is probably not the best way to avoid confrontation. You have to understand that you are about to deliver bad news. While it is nowhere near as severe, you wouldn’t want someone to inform you that your child has died by saying “Ey, he died. Life goes on.” While there is no manual that will tell you what to say, good judgment should be able to tell you what you shouldn’t.

3. Don’t make the breakup a public spectacle. Nobody wants to go through a breakup. Even fewer people want to go through one with several people acting as an audience. This is a private matter and should be treated as such.

4. Don’t destroy the other person’s belongings. Even though you might feel wronged, it is never right to destroy something that means a lot to your partner. People can get over hurt feelings and forgive others for harsh words, but there are certain things that have emotional significance to people. Those items can never be replaced. Also, you can never be forgiven for destroying these items. That act will leave a permanent scar on yourself and the other person. If you avoid the destruction of property, you might be able to end this relationship on civil note…and avoid the legal repercussions that come from committing felony acts.

5. Do not post cruel or hurtful statements about your partner on your or anyone else’s website…even if the statements are true. Now is not the time to reveal that you think your partner’s singing is god-awful or that they have a major hygiene problem. All that these “truths” do is create animosity. Even if the statements are true, saying them right now devalues them…and makes the person unwilling to even listen to the critiques.

6. Do NOT post pictures or videos of your partner online. During the course of your relationship, you both learned a lot about each other and, probably, did or said things that you might be embarrassed to have out in the open. Now is not the time to bring those moments up or to make the person regret ever meeting you. All of those things meant something special to the relationship and using them as weapons destroys the possibility of having anything positive to say about this period of your life.

Tips & Warnings

• Admittedly, this list is impossible to complete. There are literally hundreds of ways to be civil during a breakup…and probably thousands of ways to be cruel. If you are careful and try to spare your partner’s feelings, you can avoid being seen as a heartless monster. I’m sorry to have to say this, but I think I’m going to have to end this article. I just don’t see it as continuing in the long run.