How to Communicate with your Spouse

Good communication skills are a key element in not only marriage, but any relationship you have with another person. Unfortunately, very few people understand the importance of good communication, and also HOW to communicate well.
The following tips will help you express your feelings without an ensuing conflict.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. 
    

   If your spouse approaches you to discuss something, put aside anything else you may be doing. If you continue your task, you will portray the message that you aren't really listening. By stopping your activities, you will instead send a silent message that says "I love you. You are important to me, and I am interested in what you have to say. Here is my undivided attention". Your spouse will appreciate this gesture.

2. 
    

   If your spouse is trying to express their feelings, don't automatically jump to conclusions. Let them speak their mind, and say all they have to say without interruption. Many times, we jump to the wrong conclusions and our "conversation" turns into a disaster.

3. 
    

   Before you say anything, take a moment to think about the words that are getting ready to pop out of your mouth. If they include any cuss words, name calling, or require being said in a REALLY loud voice, perhaps it would be better leaving our mouth closed! That can be hard to do, but can you think of one GOOD reason to yell at your spouse? No.

4. 
    

   Eye contact is great. We all know that. Some of us practice eye contact, some don't, we all should. But try going a step beyond eye contact to physical touch. Place your hand on your spouse's arm when you tell them you understand what they are trying to say. The intimacy of this simple gesture will keep things calm and even toned, and your spouse will feel reassured.

Tips & Warnings

• Let your spouse know that you appreciate that they have shared their feelings with you. They will be more apt to do it again.
• If things are starting to escalate into a fight, take a break. Time-outs are good for reducing your level of anger and stress.
• No one has been harmed by counseling. If you feel your relationship has gotten out of hand, seek professional help. Many couples have, with exceptional results!