How to Build A Rock Solid Marriage

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Love, The ability to show honor and respect, Good communication skills,Virtuousness

Step 1

The first kiss shared after making the wedding vow.

Build up real love for your mate:
"Well we are in love and have been loving each other from the day we met, three months ago"; said one couple standing before the marriage altar in readiness to exchange their vows.
But have you not seen the effects of this type of love? --The love-at-first-sight? It causes people to rush into a marriage prematurely, before they get to know each other, expecting the marriage to have a magical cure for all ills and to solve all of their problems. But what happens when these expectations are not met? It collapses. Then they wonder what happened to all this instantaneous attraction that was so strong when they first met. But you know the answer. It was not real love. Well then, what was it?
Many experts on marriage relationships think that this strong attraction has to do with the chemistry of the sex hormones between male and female. The love at first sight it produces is very strong and very deceptive. It can disguise itself as real love; rendering those involved blind to the bigger picture. They are so preoccupied with the passionate flames that they ignore the realities, or the more important things, like asking themselves these pertinent questions: "Is this person suitable marriage material"? "Does he / she possesses the qualities that I'm looking for in a partner?"
Granted, romantic love is something special, wonderful and pleasurable, and it can give your marriage a good foundation. But couples! It must not be the single factor on which you choose your partner. It must become a part of the real love that you must build. This love transcends beyond physical beauty, and flaming passion, and move to the heights where it allows couples to empathize with one another, and to allow each other the room to overlook the little errors that each may make. Hence you learn how to put up with the minor faults, knowing that no one is perfect.

How to Cultivate Genuine Love
Couples! Do not take your partner for granted, but look for (ways) things you can do to please him / her: for example your partner is (home) off from work today, why don't you surprise him / her and take home a bouquet of flowers; some chocolate, or something that you know that he / she likes. This gesture can speak louder than many-a-words sometimes. Then be willing to share and to make compromises, bearing in mind that the marriage does not revolve around any one person.
None of you must demand that your personal preferences dominate family decisions.
Step 2

Each mate is displaying appreciation for the other

Show Respect and Honor your mate:
To honor your partner means to respect his / her dignity. Do not use profanity nor abusive speech to your partner. But use speech that is gracious and "seasoned with salt" as it were. Your gestures to each other must be uplifting, not downgrading; for e.g. do not make fun of your partner's idiosyncrasies, nor gossip about your partner's faults behind him / her - neither with your friends, relatives nor with strangers. Unless your partner has a very big sense of humor, he / she may consider this to be disrespectful. Disrespectfulness can be a big factor leading the marriage into the blazing fire (marital Breakdown).
Step 3

A bouquet of flowers can speak louder than many a words sometimes.

Communicate with each Other:
It has often been said that communication is the life-blood of a relationship. But communication does not mean to talk at each other, nor to shake a finger at each other saying; "What did you do that for?; I told you not to do that". Good Communication means that you must stop your talking sometimes and listen to what the other person is saying. This way you get to know how your partner feels and then you are in a good position to make any adjustments that are needed before things get out of control. The ability to communicate well in the marriage can save you a lot of frustrations. Husbands who are willing to communicate will not have to feel stressed out because their wives nag too much; when all that is needed on their part may be to communicate their feelings through an heartfelt expression of the three little words " I love you"; or to "say it with flowers". A bouquet of flowers speaks louder than many-a-words sometimes: communicate! It is the life-blood of any relationship.
Wives who are willing to communicate will not have to harbor grudges/ resentment if their husbands do this; on coming home from work he turns the television on, sits down on the sofa and watches it until his wife says, "dinner is ready dear". Instead of becoming upset, she can take the initiative to strike-up a conversation about her day at home or work; his day at work; or any topic that would be of interest to both of you. So communicate: communicate: communicate.
Step 4

Restrict sexual interest to your mate.

Restrict sexual interest to your partner.
The reason for this is obvious, but it is still worth mentioning. Couples! The special love, sex, and ecstasy that you enjoy together are not to be shared with anyone else. The giver of these gifts wants you to enjoy them in a monogamous marriage. So do not seek sexual gratification outside of your marriage. Doing so can ruin your marriage, resulting in unwanted pregnancy, and leave you open to the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. (STD) Remember that there is a real killer out there: AIDS: It has taken more lives than the last war, cancer, heart disease and diabetes.
So couples! Safeguard yourself and your partner from this enemy. "But what if I have a very high sex drive"? some men may ask, "Couldn't I
have just one person on the side, as long as I don't allow my wife to find out about it"?
Absolutely not. Husbands! You must exercise the quality of self-control, understanding that periodically, your wives may not be able to render part of their marital obligations. And you'll have to wait a few days for it, but you are not going to expire; are you?
Not at all: So do not run off looking for temporary gratification elsewhere. This will not make things better; and selfishness and lack of self-control can only damage your marriage relationship.
However couples! For your marriage to work, you must live up to its obligations. Do you deliberately deprive each other of sex?; wives saying, "I have an headache dear", and husbands saying, "I am very drained tonight, darling, but I'll give you a raincheck for it tomorrow". If you do this, you are opening the door for the enemy to fire the "temptation shot" at your partner.
Your aim is to keep the door closed leaving no room for the other person to have a wandering mind, nor a wandering body. Look for ways to enjoy the sexual intimacy within the confines of your own marriage; but do not overdo it either, for this is not the only thing. It is, only one of the keys to building a rock solid marriage and should be kept in its proper place. But working on, and using all of the keys correctly can help your marriage survive both the internal and external fires that are blazing against it

Comments

wltw said

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on 5/29/2009 Good advice to build a rock solid marriage!

sneedc said

on 5/24/2009 Respect, honor, commitment and sex solely with this ONE person....all great ways to keep the vows fresh. Thanks for the reminders

on 5/23/2009 If all couples would read and apply the suggestions in this article, domestic violence and the divorce rate would be greatly reduced. This article is well-written, true-to-life, and a great read!