How to Discipline a Child That Has Asperger's

Although Asperger syndrome is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a child with AS are no less difficult. The typical disciplinary techniques that are recommended for kids do not take into account the many issues facing a child with a neurological disorder. Violent rages, self-injury, isolation-seeking tendencies and communication problems that arise due to auditory and sensory issues are just some of the behaviors that parents of children with Asperger syndrome will have to learn to control.
Parents need to come up with a consistent disciplinary plan ahead of time, possibly with the help of a specialist, and then present a united front and continually review their strategies for potential changes and improvements as the child develops and matures. Parents should consider the following steps when attempting to discipline a child with AS.

Instructions

1. Identity concerning behaviors. Parents should list the behaviors that they feel are most deserving of attention. This is an important step because some behaviors may need intervention or therapy in order to be eliminated rather than simple disciplinary tactics. For example, running in circles or humming may be habits that the child is using to self-soothe, even though these behaviors might drive parents crazy. Odd self-soothing behaviors are common in children on the autism spectrum with sensory processing (integration) issues, and they can be easily replaced with more appropriate ones (such as swinging on a swing or chewing on a healthy snack).

2. Come to an agreement on disciplinary techniques. Parents need to be in agreement when applying discipline to any child, but especially for children with Asperger syndrome. If one parent thinks spanking is the appropriate punishment, while the other feels that time-outs will be more effective, this will be confusing for the child. Time-outs, loss of privileges such as video games, TV, or weekly allowances, a fair fining structure (as in police ticketing) with a cost associated with each offending behavior or additional chores can all be used effectively.

3. Clearly post rules and consequences. Children with Asperger syndrome thrive on clear rules, and therefore posting a list of unacceptable behaviors and their consequences can be immensely helpful. For younger children who cannot read yet, the rules should be reviewed periodically, and the list could also have visual illustrations to demonstrate the bad behaviors and punishments associated.

4. Use positive discipline as much as possible. Stickers, tokens and other incentives are effective ways of motivating children. Also, whenever a problem behavior is identified, early interventions and tactics should be applied. These include replacing unacceptable self-soothing behaviors (as mentioned in step 1 above), relaxation techniques, floor time play therapy, music therapy, auditory therapies which help a child focus and listen better, and even improvements in diet. For a very helpful list of therapeutic interventions, consult "Autistic Spectrum Disorders: Understanding the Diagnosis & Getting Help," by Mitzi Waltz, Cambridge: O'Reilly & Associates, Inc., 2002, Chapter 6.

5. Firmly apply natural consequences. Whenever a bad behavior occurs, natural consequences will result. Sometimes, parents must apply these consequences when children are young. For example, if a child isn't sharing with another, that other child should be asked to leave. This will simulate the most likely scenario that will occur in a playground.

6. Time-out techniques. Kids with AS tend to enjoy being isolated because it is less stressful for them and they do not have to socialize with others. For these children, time-outs can actually be a positive experience unless modified slightly. Removing children from something fun might be a better alternative. For example, if a child loves to play with blocks, perhaps the blocks should go in the time-out area. A timer can be used and this will help parents be more consistent when applying time-outs. Children prone to destructive tantrums may be placed in a room that contains no breakable items or one that has pillows kids can use to get out their frustrations.

7. Parents need time-outs too. If one parent is home with an AS child all day long, that parent may need a break later. Parents should pay attention to one another and give each other time to decompress when necessary. Develop a hand signal or other visual clue that lets the other know when these moments arise.