How to Actually Talk to Girls

Girls can be terrifying creatures, especially the ones you find attractive. Shy men in particular may have considerable difficulty talking to girls, and when they do, they often don't have the first idea of what to say. Relax. Talking to girls is a skill like any other. The more you practice at it, the better you'll get, and you may even enjoy the process. A few simple tips can help you get started.

Instructions

1. Show confidence, even if you don't feel it. That shouldn't be confused with arrogance or self regard, but be comfortable with who you are and don't worry about what other people think. The poise you radiate will make talking to the girl easier.

2. Brush up on good conversation topics. Current movies or books make a solid starting point, as do topics in which she's shown an interest. Try to find topics which both you and she enjoy, giving you a common point of reference on which to base your conversation.

3. Speak in a conversational tone of voice. Refrain from muttering or mumbling, and look the girl in the eye when you talk to her. There's no need to put on a false front or be anything other than yourself. A normal speaking voice is just fine.

4. Stick with basic topics to begin. If you ask an unduly detailed question, it may be off-putting or intimidating. Music, movies, basic likes and dislikes--these are topics for the beginning of the conversation. Avoid hot-button issues like religion or politics, at least early on. They cause as many arguments as they do healthy conversations.

5. Look for comfort zones or topics which cause her to open up. If she's interested in something you're not familiar with, ask her to tell you more about it. If you know the topic well, then the two of you now have something in common and can open the field up to a more in-depth conversation.

6. Pay attention to her comfort levels. Some girls are naturally talkative, while others are more shy and take time to open up. Tailor your conversation to match her comfort zone, allowing her to talk if she's inclined to and taking the lead if she's more comfortable being quiet.

7. Shift topics if you notice things becoming awkward. Move to a lighter or more upbeat subject, something she may be interested in, but which has a positive tone to it.

8. Listen as much as you talk. Girls aren't interested in boys who talk only about themselves and don't allow them to get a word in edgewise. Let her say her piece, don't interrupt, and take the time to hear what she's saying. This goes double for shy or quiet girls. Many of them are shy and quiet because people haven't given them a chance to open up.

Tips & Warnings

• While it's not 100 percent necessary, try to pay attention to your grooming when talking to girls. Dress decently, shave and shower, and don't slouch in your chair when you talk. It lends a good impression.

• Stay away from cheesy pick-up lines when trying to start a conversation. They smack of desperation and rarely inspire confidence.