How to increase social interaction for the Teen with Asperger's Syndrome

As the parent, adult friend, or teacher of a teen with Asperger's syndrome (AS) you are very much aware that people with AS have difficulty with social interaction. People with AS are not able to learn the "rules of social interaction" merely by watching others and as children get older their lack of social skills become more and more obvious. So what is a parent, adult friend or teacher to do? Read on for some suggestions of things that have worked for other people.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Time
• Patience

1. Parents expect to make "play dates" for their young children, but even as a teen you're AS child might need you to take the initiative to create social interaction. This can be more challenging than calling another mom and inviting a 7 y/o to come over and play.

2. First consider your teen's areas of interest. Interacting with others who share their passions has a higher chance of success. For instance, do they like to play card games? Games like Yu-Gi-Ho, Pokémon, Warhammer, Magic, and Chaotic are very popular with teens. Check with local gaming shops and see if they have tournaments? Many stores offer free play time as well as tournaments. Take your teen and see what they think. You might be surprised at how well they can blend in with a crowd of likeminded people.

3. Second, consider your teen's tolerance for being around crowds. Many AS teens are hypersensitive to light, sound, touch so being in close quarters with a noisy crowd might not be a good thing for them. Consider inviting one classmate over to your home for a short period of time. Encourage your teen to do the inviting, but practice with them on how to invite someone over. Help them come up with ideas on what they might do while their "company" is over. And have a backup plan if the AS teen becomes overwhelmed while their "company" is over. Having a snack break can reduce tensions. Planning to eat a meal while the "company" is over also gives the visit some focus, especially if you can include the teens in some of the meal preparation. Keep the visit short, not more than 2 hours to start.

4. Third, look for other parents of kids on the Autism spectrum who have kids about the same age as yours. Arrange to get together for a short outing. Going out for ice cream, on a picnic lunch, or to a book store are ways to introduce the teens in a neutral setting. While the kids might not interact much at first, just getting use to being around others in different situations is good experience. And, if they can find a shared interest, like reading the same types of books then you are on your way to friendship building.

5. Fourth, have adult friends over to your house for dinner. Making small talk is especially difficulty for the AS teen, but your adult friends will be more willing to listen to your child drone on about their favorite topic than their classmates. Allow the teen to talk about their interests for awhile and then use this time to help the teen learn and practice making small talk. One fun way to do this is to have a box of trivia questions at the table and have people take turns asking questions and having everyone try and answer.

6. Animals are a great ice breaker. If you have a dog, go for walks with your AS teen and encourage them to talk to people who show an interest in the dog. Even if you don't have a dog, you can go for a walk and talk to others you see who are out walking their dogs.

7. People watch. Go to the mall, get an ice cream and sit on a bench with your AS teen and people watch. Ask questions about the people you see. The idea is to get the AS teen to be aware of other people, what they are doing, and how they are acting.

8. Outdoor activities like hiking, biking, fishing are all good things to do. Model for you AS teen how to start a conversation with others who are doing an activity similar to yours. Again the more exposure you give your AS teen to different situations the more comfortable they will be. Especially since many AS teens do not transfer behaviors from one activity to another. For example, they might know to say hello to their doctor, but they might not know to say hello to the person on the river bank fishing next to them.

Tips & Warnings

• Join a parent support group, either online or in person to share your ups and downs. Raising children is a journey, and some days can seem very long if you are alone.

Resources

• Look Me in the Eye
• UnwrittenRules of Social Relationships
• Social Skills Training

[successfactors]

on 6/22/2009 Thank you for some very practical tips and strategies. I will use these as a Dad and as a therapist working with clients who are on the spectrum.

[BodyLogique]

on 6/15/2009 I love the ideas you suggested! I am a teacher of Yoga & Art for kids with autism/asperger's and I have so much respect for the parents and families of these amazing kids! Keep writing articles like this one-you have an important voice to other parents & to those who don't yet understand. 5*.

[rogerbacon]

on 5/17/2009 I've heard of this disease but never knew what it was. Thanks for the information.

[mskettymg]

on 5/10/2009 Thanks for sharing!

[kittycooks]

on 5/4/2009 You have some great ideas to increase social interaction. I live with two kids on the spectrum and it does take cues and guidance! Thanks for sharing.