How to Manage Differences in Intimate Relationships

Conflicts can be resolved

Being in few relationships I have encounter of lot conflicts resulting from differences. No two person is the same, so conflict in relationship(s) will happen. Even the healthiest relationships at times experience conflict because of individual differences in perspective and opinion exist. NO matter what the difference in your relationship that is causing some form of conflict, here are some suggestion on how you can manage differences in intimate relationships.

Instructions

1. First step is to realize that both of you are two different person which make up one relationship and differences will occur. This is the first step before you can manage differences and prevent two much unnecessary conflicts. Know that at times you will have to give up your right so that the relationship can flourish; but it should not be that every time two guys have an disagreement, you're the one giving up your right, he/she can compromise also.

2. Remember that conflicts doesn't have to be win-lose situation and should be seen as such. You should not always try to win an argument but try to find a solution in a calm and intelligent manner.

3. Make sure that you try to get to know and understand the other person as an individual. You both should sit down and try to get to know each other by asking questions that will give you information about the other person. Knowing the person your with will help you to handle confrontations that will come in the relationship.

4. If both of you are having an argument, repeat what the other person said before you reply. This is to ensure that you heard correctly what the other person said and they won't be any misunderstanding.

5. As you respond, try to avoid what are called "Blaming" attacks. This is when we try to put blame on the other person. Doing this will not help to solve the problem but will only cause more arguments and possible violent attacks.

6. When replying, avoid using words that might be seen as insulting and provocative. Think about what you are going to say before you say, otherwise you might say something that you regret.

7. Most importantly, always try to stay calm. By doing this you will be better able to control your angry and also try to find a way solve the problem.

8. Avoid bringing things that happen in the past. Let the past be the past and focus on the present issue. By bringing up past issues is just calling for more problems that what you guys are facing at the present. We don't have control over the past but we do have control over the issues happening now!

9. Take each problem one step at a time. Try to solve the problem at hand before you try to solve another problem.

10. Look for solutions to the problem. Again if you remain calm you will be better able to find a solution to the problem

11. Try not to let the problem persist for days. Try to solve the problem now and not later, if possible. However, at times you both might have to call a time-out. This allows both of you to have some physical and emotional space, but it should not be for long periods.

12. If you can't find a solution, try and let the problem go, if possible. If not, maybe both of you should go for a walk together, or go somewhere fun, maybe a movie or go have dinner at a restaurant. This will allow you both to forget about the problem for awhile get some fresh air and try again later. This works for many couples and might just for work for both of you.

13. Last but not least, try to have a sense of humour.

Tips & Warnings

• Seek professional help if no solution can be made. Nothing is wrong with talking to a counsellor