How to Make Small Talk Interesting

"So what do you do for a living?" It's the most common questions people ask when trying to break the ice with a new person, and it's also the most boring question people ask when trying to break the ice with a new person. No wonder people hate small talk when its most common topic involves work. If you want to make small talk interesting, you've got to approach it with a fresh perspective. Follow these tips to learn how.

Instructions

1. Start with a sincere compliment. This is a simple way to begin a dialogue and help another person to feel at ease with you. Just make sure that your compliment is in fact sincere. People can see straight through false flattery.

2. Think of small talk as a game in which you must find a place of genuine common ground upon which you and your new acquaintance can stand and carry on a mutually engaging conversation.

3. Be earnestly curious about the new people you meet. Don't be standoffish, egotistical coy or bored.

4. Learn something new. When the other person talks, listen and dig deeper with followup questions. Learning is just as much about the person questioning and listening as it is about the person answering and talking. Make your effort to listen carefully, ask engaging questions and come away from the conversation with a new bit of knowledge or a slight shift on your life perspective.

5. Ask offbeat questions about topics that interest you. I once went to a holiday party where a guy I just met asked me, "What do you want from Santa this year?" My answer was that I wanted a pair of elbow-length gloves, and that spurred on an entire other conversation. That was three years ago, and he and I are still friends. I often ask people I just met, "What did you eat for breakfast today?" Being somebody who loves food, I always enjoy hearing about what people ate that day. I also feel like I get a bit of insight into a person's personality by hearing about their breakfast habits.

6. Play the "this or that?" game. The "this or that?" game involves you presenting two ideas and having the person you are talking to choose the one that he or she prefers. For example, you might ask, "Ocean or mountains?" The person then chooses one or the other. This game can help guide your conversations down all sorts of delightful, unexpected paths. Some of my favorite this or that choices are: fate or freewill, sun or moon, symmetrical or asymmetrical and classical or jazz.

7. Act like Dali. The surrealist painter Salvador Dali used to carry a cigarette case full of small, fake moustaches. When he went to parties he would open up his case and ask, "moustache?" I'm sure this was a fun way to break the ice with complete strangers. Borrow Dali's move or come up with a party trick of your own.